Teach Me

“You have been eating sushi with your fingers this whole evening, does it mean that you don’t know how to use chopsticks?” Taeyeon asked with amusement while raising her eyebrows and questioning my eating habit. Truth be told, I do know how to use chopsticks and I have been eating that way for at least 10 years, but tonight I decided to throw my ‘skills’ away and just enjoy this little date. I didn’t expect this kind of ‘amusing’ reaction from my girlfriend though. Her eyes tells me that she might think of something that I’ll certainly like, so who am I not to use this opportunity for my own advantage.

“Mmm… no.”

Just like I guessed Taeyeon smiled intrigued and walked around the table settling behind me. Luckily, we chose to order food and enjoy our dinner in Tae’s apartment or other people in restaurant setting might have looked weirdly at such scene in front of their eyes.

“Well… I guess this means I have to teach you.” I could hear excitement coming from her voice, and I loved it. I’m pretty sure the same could be said in Taeyeon’s case.

I don’t know why, or when it started, but whenever Taeyeon finds out that there is something that I’m not familiar with, or something that I don’t excel in, she finds it her own task to teach me how to do it. At times, it is quite funny because she’s not good at things herself, so she has to learn it first, before giving me lessons.

I couldn’t count on my fingers how many new things she showed me in these couple of years, but I do have few that I remember time after time and smile to myself. For example, the time when Taeyeon teach me how to ride a bike. I think I do have to mention that I was scared of those things. Luckily for me, she was very patient and we probably looked funny from the side. Taeyeon ran after the bike while holding to it and finally let go in the same way that parents do to their children. I have to say she was just as excitement as me with our success.

Another memorable moment was the time when Taeyeon tough me how to bake cookies. I’m not a good cook and she’s the one that makes us food whenever we’re staying in, but Taeyeon wanted to try something new and was determined enough to force me into it. I wasn’t very successful (the first 10 times) but with time I got better and I can proudly say that today I can make (almost) decent cookies that my girlfriend eats every single time without complaining.

I mean… I don’t think I’m that good, since Yoona tried one once and spit it out. She’s not someone who says ‘no’ to food, so it was a good giveaway, but Taeyeon keeps on saying that I’m getting better every time and never backs away from eating the treats, so I’m not one to complain.

But let’s go back to the current – most important moment, shall we? It is not the first time when I’m acting that I don’t know how to do something, to see my girlfriend in ‘confident and determined’ action, so I’m truly curious how she’ll handle me this time.

“I think this might get messy,” I commented holding in my victorious smirk.

“We shall see. But I don’t mind. Even though I do find you sexy while you’re eating with your fingers… that’s a bit distracting.”

We both laughed at the same time, since let’s make this clear – my girlfriend is a proud pervert and I have learn to both accept and enjoy this side of hers.

Taeyeon grabbed the chopsticks with her left hand while placing them into my right hand, positioning my fingers around them. Then she guided the chopstick-holding hand to the sushi and successfully manipulated my fingers until I picked up a piece and dipped into soy sauce. After this, she lifted it towards my mouth.

I could have ended this successfully, but I wouldn’t be – ME, if I won’t do this a bit differently. Also, who succeeds at their first try? That’s just absurd.

So instead, I made sure that my hand shook a little and let the sushi slide away when it was almost in my mouth. It fell down and for a moment I cursed at myself for not counting the right time, since I can feel rice and fish both on my neck and somewhere south under my t-shirt.

I change my mind about cursing when I hear Taeyeon chuckling at the scene and she decides to help me out with lowering her mouth and tasting rice from my neck.

“Should I help you with the rest too?” I could practically hear her smiling, though I can’t see my girlfriend’s face at the moment.

“Mmm” I hear my quiet moan, while I’m considering the suggestion. “I though you want to teach me how to use chopsticks?”

Taeyeon snickered once again, while taking care of those things and leaving them on the table, planting another short kiss to my temple.

“I would love to teach you, since you know how much I like doing that, but it is a bit unfair, when you already know how to use chopsticks. Babe, it is not the first time we’re eating sushi together. I mean… it has been a while, but last time we did it… we sat in a restaurant and it didn’t seem like you found any trouble with handling these things.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at my own stupidity. Of course, for a moment I did forget about our previous dates, but it is quite easy to lose your mind when Taeyeon gets closer to you, or when she’s sitting behind you and hugging you. Believe me, you would lose your mind in this kind of situation too.

“Damn… why you didn’t tell me?”

Taeyeon shrugged her shoulders while hugging me from behind and lowering her jaw to my temple.

“Well, I noticed that glint in your eyes when you got excited after my question, the same one I see every single time when I suggest teaching you something new. So I couldn’t pass out on this opportunity… also, it was one heck of a day and I wanted to hug and feed my girlfriend. Is that wrong?”

I had to give it to her. Taeyeon is indeed a sweet talker, she could probably successfully talk me into anything. “Far from it… so… will you keep on teaching me, babe?”

Once again, I didn’t need to see Taeyeon to know that she kept on smiling after hearing my question, and quickly she grabbed the chopsticks landing them back to my hand. “Of course. But… you do know that half of that sushi is somewhere behind your t-shirt, right? This is distracting me way more than you eating with your bare fingers.”

“Well… we can deal with it later… I’ll let you inspect and find the remains of that piece after we finish eating, how about that?”

Taeyeon chuckled and it was similar to a confirmation. “I can’t wait.”

Let’s face it – so can’t I.

Our Kind of Paradise

Kim Taeyeon 

This week has been crazy! First Tiffany told me that she’s in love with me and then – she asked me on a date! A DATE! Obviously, I told her yes. She’s drop dead gorgeous and I’m one of those people who believe that love has no gender. So I’m really excited to say that tonight is the night. I’m going on a date with Tiffany. She’s 1 years younger and a bit taller than me (it is not something I should pay attention to, but somehow it is one thing that I have always noticed. After all, my best friend Sunny is the only one who is smaller than me.) Luckily, I was saved from getting lost in these kind of thoughts after hearing a knock on the door.

“I’m getting ready! Leave me alone for a bit! “

I heard laughs from the other side of the door: Sunny and Sooyoung just had to walk inside and inspect how I look tonight.

“Taeng what exactly are you wearing for this date?”

Sooyoung (the most fashionable of three of us) asked raising her eyebrows. She was looking at my black dress.

“We are going to have dinner and then see a movie. Well… I’m not sure the actual order for this. But still… I want to look nice.” I pouted quite sure that Sooyoung will find some sort of flaw with my choice.

Sooyoung snorted “You always look nice. But you don’t need to overdo yourself. It is a first date. Not a funeral.”

My face burned bright red “Oh…”

I ran to my closet and grabbed another outfit and laid it out for them to see. It was quite similar dress to this one, but instead of black I chose blue one. This is my favorite color, after all.

“There. Happy now?”

Sunny giggled “Good choice!”

They finally understood that I’m too nervous for pointless conversations and walked out. I heard Sooyoung running down the stairs and shouting at Yoona that she should leave her at least one slice of pizza. Not surprised here: Sooyoung easily forgets about other people problems when there is food involved, while Sunny is probably texting one of her guys. All is left for me to do is get ready and wait…

 

 


 

 

Tiffany Hwang

 

I put on skinny jeans and a nice pink top. I was ready to go get Taeyeon, but gosh why I am so nervous?! I haven’t had this problem before… but truth be told, I have never dated a girl either, so maybe that’s the reason… or the reason might be the fact that I haven’t actually dated someone that I really liked… most of the time I was just looking for a good time, but this time I was in too deep.

Anyway… that’s besides the point! Luckily, I heard Sooyoung running down the stairs and screaming at Yoona which brought me back to this moment. I walked out of my room grabbing my wallet and turning off the lights.

I waked down the hallway to my roommates door and knocked twice.

No answer.

“Taetae? You there?”

No answer.

“TaeTae?”

Finally I heard some noises and soon she opened the door hugging me tightly. “YES! I mean… yes… I am. We can go.”

Afterwards, Taeyeon practically dragged me to get a car.

About 30 minutes later we arrived to the restaurant and ate. It was somehow endearing seeing Taeyeon laughing, giggling and blushing most of the time. It was probably the cutest thing I have ever seen. But if you think that Taeyeon couldn’t get any cuter, you’re very wrong. I got to witness it when we finally went for the movie.

“Two adult tickets, please.”

The woman behind the glass smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry but… kids under 14 get kid tickets.”

This is when Taeyeon face palmed her face and sighed tiredly. “I’m 21.”

I couldn’t help but laugh my ass off. I paid for our tickets (since it might have lasted a century until Taeyeon proven her point) and 15 minutes later we finally sat down inside the theater. Taeyeon pouted and complained at first, so I had to convince her that looking young is not something she should worry about.

She held my hand the entire movie. At the end of it, I looked over at her, our faces were inches apart.. I closed the gap (who could control themselves in such proximity?) and kissed her softly. Sadly, the kiss couldn’t last for long since the lights came back, people started standing up and leaving the place, and I had no other choice but to pull away.

We left the cinema and discussed our date smiling like teenagers in love. I was smiling, Taeyeon was blushing.

“Best date ever!” we said at the same time and laughed afterwards.

Taeyeon grabbed my hand and we went to the direction of our apartment.  Score Tiffany Hwang, now all you have to do is hold her tight and treat her right, and both of you will be alright. Damn I should probably stop talking to myself if I want this to work.

Do’s and Don’ts

~PART I~

[Tiffany Hwang list to Kim Taeyeon]

DON’T

  • Don’t flirt with other girls (or guys.)
  • Don’t stop spoiling me.
  • Don’t hide anything from me.
  • Don’t be afraid to say what you think.
  • Don’t stop paying attention to me = don’t you dare ignoring me.
  • Don’t watch dramas without me. I don’t care how curious you are if the main pairing  will finally got together! It is our special time together!
  • Don’t doubt me, but at the same time don’t stop being jealous – it shows me how much you actually care, and how afraid you are of losing me.
  • Don’t come across as a know it all, or at least don’t show it. You know that is the reason why we argue a lot.
  • Don’t stop dreaming. It makes me happy when I see you smiling.
  • Don’t stop kissing and hugging me, unless I tell you to. Don’t stop even if I do.
  • Don’t get angry at our friends just because they are playfully flirt with me – THEY ARE OUR FRIENDS!
  • Don’t steal my clothes conveniently leaving only the ones that you like yourself. That’s a NO NO.
  • Don’t scare my co-workers and future company partners away.
  • Please don’t ask me to buy you a car for your next birthday!
  • Oh crap! Don’t you dare stop loving me!

 

DO

  • Call and leave me text messages EVERY SINGLE DAY, no matter how busy you are.
  • Do remember our anniversaries and other important days of our relationship:  our first date, the day when we shared our first kiss, the day when we started dating, our first night together, the day we decided to move in together, the day you proposed to me, our wedding date (and night), our honeymoon and so on.
  • Keep on singing in the shower. I really love hearing you every morning and night.
  • Keep on making us food. I don’t want to poison us if I try!
  • Love me like you do, love love love me like you do! (yes, I’m singing this.)
  • Don’t be a lazy ass! Keep on moving! Join me for a jog! Let’s go for a walk! Please please please!
  • Do stay the same pervert as you always were. I won’t ever admit it, but I secretly love it a lot.
  • Do make demands when you want something from me, voice it out. I want to spoil you too.
  • Do me as you do. (OMG… this is embarrassing.)
  • Stay as romantic and cheesy as you are. That’s another thing that I really love about you.

 

~PART II~

[Kim Taeyeon List to Tiffany Hwang]

DON’T

  • Don’t text and drive. I want to keep in touch with you all the time too, but your safely is the most important thing. I rather not talk with you for a while, than hear that something happened to you on your way.
  • Don’t make our problems open for the public. I really don’t want to argue with you in the middle of the street.
  • Don’t ever disappear on me. I don’t care how angry you are. (Remembering the previous point: I would rather have you screaming at me in the middle of the street.)
  • Don’t tease.
  • Don’t force me to go jogging with you. I might as well die while on the run. We can find other methods for exercise.
  • Don’t paint all of our rooms pink. I forbid you!
  • Don’t flirt with our friends or your co-workers. Did you forget how angry and jealous I get when you do? I can be possessive too, you know?
  • Don’t send me nudes when I’m at work. It is too distracting. I can’t concentrate for the rest of the day – wanting to see you as soon as possible.
  • Don’t get angry at me just because I didn’t answer to one of your texts. You know I would never ignore you on purpose. (Unless I’m jealous and you flirted with your co-workers!)
  • Don’t stop loving me. Ever.

 

 

DO

  • Do keep on speaking in English. I don’t understand a word you say, but you sound so sexy with that accent of yours.
  • Let’s have sex everyday. 
  • Let me do you, as I do (keke)
  • I have never met someone who loves kissing as much as you do. You made me like it too. Do keep on stealing kisses from me even when I seem unwilling to kiss you back.
  • Let me sleep in on Sundays. It would really make me love you even more.
  • Let me spoil you. You know how much I love paying for your things.
  • Spoil me too. But in bed. 
  • Do remember our anniversaries and other important days of our relationship:  our first date, the day when we shared our first kiss, the day when we started dating, our first night together, the day we decided to move in together, the day you proposed to me, our wedding date (and night), our honeymoon and so on.
  • Smile. Every day. As much as you can. It shows me how happy you are. After all, I did fall in love with your eye smile on the very first time that we met.
  • Keep on giving me those massages at least once a week. You have magic hands.
  • Do not let other people influence your bad mood. If they are annoying you – they are not worth your time.
  • Trust me. I know I suck and can’t express myself most of the time, you do not have superpowers so you can’t read my mind, but please – do keep on trusting me.
  • Do get drunk a bit more often. When I say drunk – I mean to the point where you pretend that you’re not – but you’re really tipsy and adorable!
  • Do join me in the shower whenever I start singing. I do love your company.
  • Do you remember the previous ‘Don’t’ point of not sending me nudes when I’m at work. Well… do send me nudes. YES PLEASE! Just… you know… not at work… maybe?

The Girl Who Snores

Every night, whenever I suddenly woke up to go to the toilet, or simply didn’t feel restless enough to keep my eyes shut, I heard snoring.

Yes, my darlings, snoring.

We all know that snoring is the vibration of respiratory structures and the resulting sound due to obstructed air movement during breathing while sleeping. That’s the definition, as they say, but it doesn’t prepare you for the actual thing.

It is kind of funny, for the outsiders at least, when you mention that every night the sounds are different. Sometimes it happens according to some sort of rhythm and you pretty much know when to expect another sound, other times it is disorganized and you try to keep track, but find it impossible to do.

When you have to deal with something every day, you even make a research on it. There are illustrations on the Internet, almighty Google helps me every time, that shows how people snore in different countries. How crazy is that?

For instance, in Bulgaria the sound is similar to: HURRRRRR.

In France it is: Ron Pchi.

Vietnam – Kho Kho.

Poland – CHRRR.

Japan – Gu Gu.

The last example was how Koreans do it, and the sound is similar to: De Reu Rung.

Was that any helpful in my case? NO. OF COURSE NOT. Are those people crazy and think it is some sort of joke?  I wouldn’t know how to describe the sounds I’m hearing but it is definitely something more like this: “ZZZ-ZZzzz-hngGGggh-Ppbhww- zZZzzzZZ . . .” with a million addition sounds that almost makes you imagine worst case scenarios that only happen in horror movies.

Never in my life I thought, there will be a day when I will try to understand what kind of snoring I’m hearing, but that day come.

It came when I met the love of my life – Kim Taeyeon.

xxx

Ironically, she was, or should I say is, a petite looking girl that can’t barely run or stand against strong wind, she has the most expressive eyes and cute dimple smile. She’s like a dream come true… during the day, of course. At night, it might turn into a nightmare. Oh bloody hell… I’m getting ahead of myself.

The thing is… Taeyeon appeared like an angel. Blondie, small, adorable, kid-like. During our first date she even sat with her hands folded (as a lady), wore very bland nail polish, and almost undetectable makeup. You would never have imagined that such cutie could produce such sounds.

But she knew her way around… I am an extrovert, there are no obstacles in my way – only that Kim Taeyeon made me weak. After our third date, I was planning on hugging her. I did that every single time to show our closeness, also because I didn’t want to rush and wasn’t sure what she thinks about taking another step, but something was off. I could tell. Instead of a hug, she stretched her hand ahead and smiled awkwardly.

“What’s the matter?” I asked confused. I was confused, for me it appeared that everything went well. That we were getting closer every day. Constant text messages only proved my theory.

Instead of an explanation, she smiled apologetically “there is something you don’t know about me yet… it would change everything. I like…like you a lot, Fany. I don’t think I could handle rejection well… so… it is better to leave it as it is… before… before we took another step into this relationship.”

“What? No! I mean… aren’t we two in this relationship! What is the reason? Can’t you at least tell me? It is not fair!”

Taeyeon sigh, defeated. I don’t know why, but sometimes I believe that it was a sneaky way from her side. This little sleeping devil might as well planned all of this from the very start.

“The thing is… I snore… not every night… I…I’m not sure when it happens since I can’t actually hear or control myself, only other people told me of this… but that is a problem, Fany. Believe me… I tried consulting a specialist. I had even had a surgery, but it only made it worse.”

“That’s it?” I asked confused. Oh… my young, naive, confused self… I looked so differently at the world. Always so hopeful… you could have called me hopeless romantic, I wouldn’t have denied it.

“That’s a lot… I don’t think you can actually handle it.”

For me – this sounded as a challenge. “I can handle it. It is not a problem. That can’t be a reason to end this! It just can’t! I like you a lot too. It is not a problem!”

Taeyeon smiled and kissed me then. It felt like I made the right choice and got a reward. I was determined and didn’t actually believe that her snoring can be a trouble. Oh… but sleepless night did prove otherwise.

xxx

It took us some time to take another step and until that time I still had no idea how bad her snoring can be. I noticed her friends worried glances at me sometimes, as if they counted the days until I leave Taeyeon. No one spoke up, but they say that body language usually tells about a person more than any words that come from their mouth.

It didn’t discourage me though and truth be told… I certainty didn’t hear any snoring during our first night together… maybe there weren’t enough sleeping involved, or maybe because Taeyeon managed to tire me off. She succeeded at that a lot of times… and I even considered that maybe she was overreacting and it just something that happens once in a a two months… it was her only weakness after all. I believed that Taeyeon was just too self conscious about it.

The hopeless romantic in me also realized that I’m falling in love, stronger than ever before… and you know what happens when you fall in love, right? You walk around looking at everything through pink glasses and yes, I admit, it is very good to have pink glasses in a combination to other accessories of female clothes. Pink is my color. Pink – is life. But in this case I looked through pink glasses in naive perception of an objective reality. I saw perfection and forgot about the flaw.

xxx

Some time in our relationship, when everything was still going smoothly, I decided to take another step. I suggested and convinced Taeyeon that moving in together is the best thing we can do. I mean come on… everything was going smoothly, even her friends looked at me different, without fear and with support.

I was on cloud nine… until I woke up one night and for a moment thought that World War started in the country. That’s how much noise this little human made and it scared me for at least a minute. I did ease into it, after few more moments, but it did take me by surprise. How is it possible that I haven’t heard it before? Is there a thief, hiding somewhere in our house and making these strange noises? No… of course not… the only one who had a whole orchestra coming from her mouth was Taeyeon. I knew that one of her hobbies was singing… but that’s a whole new level.

After that first night, something in me clicked. I woke up more often and every single time, I heard Taeyeon snoring. There were even nights when I couldn’t go back to sleep… and I do tried some tricks like earplugs, or I even put on headphones and listened to music. Nothing saved me from these sounds. But it didn’t make me stop loving her either.

xxx

Just like any other couple, we had a lot of fights. Especially when we lived together for more than a year and felt comfortable enough around each other. Probably 80% of those fights started because of those snores. I was cranky and sleepy and couldn’t think clearly. I blamed Taeyeon even knowing that she’s not doing it intentionally.

Also, every single time Taeyeon reminded me that she warned me about it from the very start. Of course, even knowing and remembering that day clearly (because how can I forget the day of our first kiss) I was still too proud to admit defeat.

xxx

The fights went on to the point that we broke up. We believed that it is for the best, but it broke my heart a little when Taeyeon mentioned that I deserve someone better when all I wanted was her, or maybe I just wanted to go back to the time before I heard that orchestra of snores.

I slept like a baby the first time when we broke up. Honestly, it was the best night sleep I had in years and it made me believe that our break-up was the right choice. Until the morning came and I didn’t see her angelic face looking back at me.

I still tried to convince myself that it was for the better and that I can sleep happily from now on. Ironically, I couldn’t fall asleep after that night… I cried… I tossed around… I searched the Internet for snoring sounds… yes… I fall that low… but no one sounded the same as Taeyeon… and none other of my methods worked.

I knew then… that I love her all.

I come to the conclusion that I can’t live without her. That I need Taeyeon in the same way that I need breath.

xxx

I was determined to get Taeyeon back right that instant. It was 3PM, I might add, when I jumped out of my bed and rushed to her old apartment. I knew that Taeyeon was staying there since she left this place for me. Always the selfless one… the one who believed that she didn’t deserve me because of this one flaw… oh how wrong I was before… how foolish… how selfish…

I knocked at her door and probably looked like a crazy person. No wait. I did look like a crazy person. Have I mentioned the fact that I only put my coat one and came wearing slippers instead of actual boots? I got the confirmation when Taeyeon looked at me confused.

I couldn’t wait, so before speaking I pulled her in for a hug. I might have as well crushed her with my strength. Oh…how I missed this petite body… the smell of her hair shampoo… her milky skin…

“Fany?”

Oh yes… I got a bit carried away. I had to control myself for a bit.

“I missed you… I miss you… so SO MUCH, TaeTae!”

“Mmm…?” she lead me inside her apartment, reminding me of my hopeless form, and asked with pure concern. “Have you been sleeping, Fany? You look really tired and…”

“I CAN’T!”

“You…can’t?” I wonder, how did Taeyeon manage to be so calm, while I was hysterical.

“I CAN’T! YOU RUINED ME!”

“I’m sorry… what? What have I done?”

I can understand Taeyeon’s confusion now. When I’m in a calm state of mind, but back then… I really couldn’t think clearly. It is possible that I haven’t slept for 36 hours, looking like a zombie, having black eyes, my mind was cloudy. The only thing I knew was… that I needed her…

Realizing that she won’t get a normal answer Taeyeon hugged me shortly and then started treating me like a child “how about we talk about this in the morning? You really need to get some sleep… then… when we wake up… we can discuss everything, okay? I will prepare a bed for you and…”

“NO!”

“Fany…really… I doubt we will manage to understand each other tonight… it is almost 4PM right now… we need to sleep…”

“No no. I mean… can I sleep next to you on a bed? Not in a separate room… just… close to you?”

She smiled sadly at that. “I think… you forgot the fact that we broke up… and we both know the main reason of it…”

“Please,” I was not someone who easily begs, but once again, the need of Taeyeon overpowers my other senses. She relented and pulled me close to her on the bed. Taeyeon even hugged me, sensing that I might ask for it, just like many times before – reading me like an open book.

It didn’t take me long to fall asleep in her embrace… of course it probably took me about 3 hours to wake up again, hearing the quieter version of Taeyeon’s muffled snores.

I smiled at that. How can someone actually miss those kind of sounds is a mystery to me. It makes no sense whatsoever… but it was like hearing my favorite song. It was like that song that gets stuck in your head and later on you realize that you have been listening to it whole day on repeat and still didn’t get enough of it.

It didn’t bother me anymore, didn’t make me cringe. Instead, it brought tears in my eyes. Happy ones.

What kind of  heroic deed did I make in my previous life to deserve to look at the face of an angel sleeping next to me? It should have been grand. No doubt.

xxx

Next morning I had a lot of explaining to do. A lot of words were exchanged between the two of us… doubts appeared once again and I couldn’t blame Taeyeon.

I made promises and said it doesn’t bother me, that I learn to live with her snoring, that the only thing I actually care about is spending my life with her, but remembering my previous (kind of similar promises) Taeyeon wasn’t that convinced.

I knew that as much as she owns my heart, I own hers too… after half a day of convincing she didn’t have powers in herself to reject me anymore. I promised not only to Taeyeon, but also to myself, that there is no chance in hell, I’m going to lose her again. This time, I did stick to my words earnestly.

xxx

It went quite smoothly afterwards, the same kind of smoothly like in the past, that honeymoon phase that all lovers experience. The most important thing to me was seeing Taeyeon’s face whenever I woke up.

“Why are you staring at me, weirdo?”

I had to laugh at her groggy voice. Snoring all night long does take a toll on Taeyeon too, she can barely speak in the morning. Eventually, her voice comes back… but those few first minutes makes me laugh.

“The love of my life, of course. My snoring queen.”

“That sounds cheesy…and weird,” Taeyeon finally opened her eyes and looked at me. The thing about her expressive eyes was that whenever her eyes met mine, I could see love and adoration. That alone make me the happiest girl.

“What? Are you going to complain that I’m in love with your flaw too, now? I think there is some sort of saying that when you love someone you learn to accept their flaws… but in this case I would have to change it to: When you love someone, you not only learn to accept their flaws, you start loving them for it.”

“Cheesy once again… but true… the fact that you obsessed about pink color doesn’t bother me anymore either.”

I pushed her shoulder lightly “very funny. I think in a fight between snoring and pink… we both know which one of the two would win.”

Taeyeon laughed once again, very content with herself “I agree. Snoring is kind of natural, it is not like I can help it, but the obsession of pink… it is like… you brought this on yourself.”

“TaeTae, stop teasing!”

“Okay okay… I give up…” she smiled happily and pulled me closer, hugging me tightly, “I’m glad that you decided to stay. You make me happy.”

Taeyeon closer her eyes and I nuzzled our noses getting even closer to her. “I’m glad too. I love you, my snoring queen.”

“I love you too, Fany-ah.”

Love is a Battlefield [Part 4]

Sunny rushed into a restaurant with furry in her eyes, it was one of those rare moments when this midget looked scary, ready to pounce on someone if they get in her way. Of course, when you notice a scene like that, there is always someone who’s responsible for such huge reaction.

“FANY WHAT THE HELL?”

“WHAT?”

Despite her anger Sunny regretted shouting for a moment, remembering how loud this American girl can get, especially when she doesn’t even notice the atmosphere surrounding them. Changing her approach Sunny suddenly sat in front of her friend and squinted her eyes judgmentally.

“You slept with Taeyeon.” Obviously that wasn’t a question.

Sunny could see Tiffany panicking for a moment but trying not to show it, at the same time American girl knew she couldn’t keep silent for long, Sunny’s determination only proved that it is kind of pointless trying to pretend that it didn’t happen.

“Aaa…oh… How do you know?”

“Guess.”

“Taeyeon told you?”

Sunny wasn’t sure but it seemed that this fact both confused and surprised Tiffany.

“Don’t try over-thinking it, I found your note and I know you two are well… kind of inseparable so you not saying goodbye in person means something. I kind of jokingly asked Tae about it and well… her expression said it all.”

Tiffany looked down contemplating what to say. “So?’

“SO? Are you telling me it is normal thing to sleep with your best friend? REALLY? Also, you’re straight and Tae is a girl… like DOUBLE the surprise… unless I’m right.”

“Oh come on Sunny, not that conversation again… Also, when did we talk…like six months ago?”

Sunny could see how much Tiffany wants to avoid the topic but after finding out the truth this morning, smaller of the two had no intention of pretending that this is not concerning her. “Yes, six months ago… so look at it from my perspective… we had a conversation six months ago and six months later you’re pulling this… I’m not quite sure what this is. What it means!”

“It means nothing! Taeyeon needs to forget about Jessica and get some sort of distraction… I just wanted to help her. For your information, I did suggest one night stand with a complete stranger but you know Taeyeon… she doesn’t believe in such things… and it kind of ended this way…”

Sunny wasn’t sure if she should laugh after hearing Tiffany’s excuse or just hit her friend for all the stupidity. “Oh really? So if… for example I… dated someone… broke up and feel heart broken and feel the need of some sort of change… in your own words – a distraction, should I come to you and ask for a one night stand? We’re really good friends too.”

“Ew. NO.”

The first instant reaction said it all and Tiffany shut her mouth, whispering under her breath, still loud enough for Sunny to hear “crap.”

“My point exactly. I haven’t forgotten our conversation and I really doubt you did. I’m guessing you acted on instinct or something… but you need to be careful, Tiffany. You know that only one of you can get your heart broken after this. Jessica is still on Tae’s mind… that stubborn midget won’t forget about her that easily…Also, you should probably talk with her about… well what does it mean.”

“It means nothing… she said that. I repeated… it was just one night stand…” Tiffany sigh thinking about it more now.

“Did you get your answer?” Sunny asked all of a sudden after couple minutes of silence.

For the second time in one day Sunny didn’t need to hear an answer to know what it is. It confirmed her worries that Tiffany indeed got herself in messed up situation.

xxx

~Six Months Ago~

Woken up in the middle of the night with a thought that she will have to wake up at 5AM in the morning didn’t settle well with Sunny. Still, she couldn’t just ignore the person that knocked at her doors, or could she? The idea of turning around and going back to her bed was tempting. Very tempting.

Somehow Sunny fight against it remembering her short messaging with Tiffany few hours ago. She connected the dots that it must be her and wasn’t that surprised when indeed Tiffany wamble into her apartment.

“Good evening, Miss Hwang. So nice of you to visit me at such hour.” Sunny snorted a bit sarcastically but didn’t turn her back on a friend. “And of course you’re drunk!” She added with disappointment.

Tiffany had a good alcohol tolerance, everyone knew about it, so it meant the girl might have drank a lot. Sunny kind of wished that she left her bar in one piece. Yes, even after two years and a half Sunny still own a bar where Jessica and Taeyeon first met. That place was Sunny’s joy and pride.

She didn’t even need to wake up early in the morning if not the annual meeting that started at 7AM.

“SUNNY!SUNNY-AH! LEE SOONKYU!”

Tiffany giggled while pinching Sunny’s cheeks “aww… you so cute when sleepy… and I’m not that drunk… maybe a little bit? Yeah… I had a bit more to drink than usual… but no no… I’m not drunk.”

Sunny put her hands around Tiffany and helped the girl sit down on her sofa. “Yeah. Obviously not drunk… do you want to talk about it? Why you’re at this state and why you decided that disturbing my sleep is a good idea?”

Once again younger girl giggled, though it didn’t sound that sincere anymore. Sunny could sense some sadness in it too. “Talk… you think we should? Do you want to talk?” she asked like a kid while leaning closer to Sunny. Luckily, Sunny had no problem with touching and didn’t get affected by Tiffany’s advances.

“Yes, let’s talk. Tell me why did you drink this much.”

“TaeTae…” Sunny heard a deep sigh and looked at her friend shortly.

“TaeTae what?”

“I don’t know… You know that Jessica left to America… she decided to visit her parents since Taeyeon couldn’t get away from job and just left her by herself… that’s fucked up. Would you do that to your lover? That’s not fair.”

Sunny was unsure which side she should support at this point and it was a bit safer to agree with Tiffany. “I guess that’s not very nice… maybe she had her reasons? It is not that they broke up or something like that…”

“No no… of course not… Taeyeon will never leave her… I mean… Jessica doesn’t even treat her right but of course she wouldn’t leave her.. she made a promise to love and stay by her side… ha…and TaeTae is sad right now…” she added last sentence quite randomly, but of course, since when drunk people actually made sense.

Tiffany sigh even louder and deeper, she would have probably kept on talking even if Sunny fall asleep sitting next to her, since she didn’t check to see if the girl is listening to her. Of course Sunny did, sleep long forgotten.

“You know that Shaw Mendes song… Treat You Better… it is an american song of course… but I think you have heard it at least on the radio… like… I sometimes listen to that song and it makes so much sense… like really…then I think about Taeyeon and Jessica and me… and it kind of makes more sense… I don’t know…”

Sunny was doubtful when she asked, unsure if Tiffany might even hear or register what she says, but still tried it out. “By treat you better… you mean that you could treat Taeyeon better?”

“Don’t I treat her better? I already do… but yes? maybe? I don’t know… I’m so confused and… I think I’m jealous… but sad… and Jessica just leaves home and Taeyeon is all…sad…moody… and I’m angry… she doesn’t deserve this, does she? TaeTae deserves to be happy and… I don’t know…does it makes sense? I don’t know… I’m so confused what if… for a while I kept thinking… how do I feel… or what I think… or is it just because there was no one before Jessica and I’m not used to it… not used to TaeTae dating and all that… I don’t know…”

“She has been dating Jessica for two years and a half so it is serious…”

The look Tiffany gave Sunny as an answer screamed ‘YOU DON’T NEED TO REMIND ME.’

“Sorry… mmm… so that’s why you drank?”

“Maybe… I don’t know… maybe? I don’t know Sunny… I don’t know… I know nothing… I wish I knew… I wish I get my answer… but I don’t know…”

Since younger girl looked honestly lost, Sunny didn’t question her confusion more and instead engulfed her in a comforting hug. “It will be alright… you will figure it out… everything will be alright.”

Sunny waited until Tiffany fall asleep and decided to check on a song, including the translation too, since she wasn’t that good at English as her friend. The lyrics didn’t surprise her much and instead confirmed the suspicion. Obviously you don’t think about these kind of things for no reason:

“I won’t lie to you. I know he’s just not right for you. And you can tell me if I’m off. But I see it on your face. When you say that he’s the one that you want. And you’re spending all your time. In this wrong situation. And anytime you want it to stop. I know I can treat you better than he can.”

Sunny wished that they can continue the conversation in the morning, since it did worry her but of course Tiffany pretended that it is nothing important and that she doesn’t even remember most of it. Defense. It was definitely one of the stages. Tiffany didn’t even like girls so it probably made her more confused than ever.

xxx

~Present Time~

Reading into Tiffany’s body language and realizing how uncomfortable her friends feels at the moment Sunny bit her lip preventing herself for asking more questions. Instead she smiled sympathetically “well… whatever this is… if something more happens between you two or not… you still should go and talk with Taeyeon… maybe not now… not today… but some other day… you’re best friends first… so resolve and hear what Tae thinks about all of this.”

Like an obedient child Tiffany just nod her head shortly. “Yeah… sure.”

“And well… honestly I don’t want to keep on provoking you…or torturing you but… maybe you should think about this whole situation a bit more seriously. When was the last time you had a boyfriend? A year ago?”

“8 months ago.”

“Well still… I think that does mean something. Think about it… think a lot… figure it out… then go and have a chat. I mean Taeyeon is hiding in her apartment at the moment, probably crying rivers and reminiscing the past but she will get out of that cocoon state too.. it is better that you both come together and talk then. Who knows… maybe she will be the one that calls you first? Just wait a bit, Fany.”

The conversation died down at that and Sunny had no other choice but to leave Tiffany alone in the restaurant rushing back to her own work. She remembered making Taeyeon promise that she will call Tiffany after gathering her thoughts a bit and at the same time Sunny was glad that she had this conversation with Fany too.

Of course, she still believed that both of them were idiots, but it is not like she needs to voice it out. They know that themselves.

Sunny didn’t forget about Jessica’s situation either, going back in time to that same day when she heard about Jung’s departure and went to have a little chat with girl in a cafe near the airport.

xxx

~Few Days Ago~

Jessica and Sunny sat in a cafe and both knew that it was a goodbye, at least for now. The conversation continued quite some time until Sunny asked something that caught her interest the most.

“I know you probably won’t answer since you didn’t gave a clear reason for Tae either but… why did you break up with her?”

Jessica just smiled. Sadly. Apologetically.

“You’re right. I won’t answer this. It is complicated… but for the best.”

“Jess.. I don’t know why… but I doubt that you just stopped loving her… your eyes tell me otherwise and if you still love her… isn’t that enough? Love is all that matters to Taeyeon, all the other things can be solved and she’s ready to do that… you leaving her really confused.”

Jessica sigh but didn’t relent. “I can’t Sunny. When I’m saying that it is for the best… I mean it…  it is not the same… our relationship had lots of cracks… it was time to pull the plug.”

Sunny had to laugh at it. How casually it sounded. “Did you at least tell her that you’re leaving to Paris? and for how long?”

“She will know that I left. I’m not sure about the length of this trip… I won’t be staying there for more than 6 months. But Taeyeon doesn’t need to know it. Maybe it is better if she thinks that I’m not planning to go back at all. Do your friend this favor… it might help her move on sooner.”

“Taeyeon is not someone who just… moves on.”

“I’m aware…,” Jessica looked down avoiding Sunny’s blaming glare.

“Are you also aware that she didn’t know about those cracks you’re mentioning now and that she kept on trying believing in a happy ending… are you aware that she got a ring to prove it?”

Sunny expected some kind of reaction of this. Surprise. Shock. Anything. But Jessica just looked at her blankly and smiled sadly. “Yes. I’m aware. Take care of Taengoo…”

Jessica stood up ready to leave, so though still angry Sunny still hugged her saying goodbye. “You’re giving up on her and your love. I don’t know why… but I hope you won’t regret it, Jessica.”

She got to witness that same expression that Jessica wore during this whole meeting, though at this point Sunny was pretty certain that corners of Jessica’s eyes got moist with tears that won’t be shed, or at least something that Sunny won’t get to witness.

“I hope so too.”

Love Is a Battlefield [Part 3]

~Present Time~

Taeyeon went back home feeling like an emotional wreck. First of all, their break up happened quite recently and maybe she should have hated Jessica for leaving her without even giving normal explanation except that she can’t love Taeyeon in the same way anymore, or that her love is not enough…

That was something Taeyeon couldn’t understand. She had never complained about being the one giving more and receiving less. That’s just how Jessica was, it wasn’t intentional too. Truth is, there is always one who loves more in a relationship, Taeyeon never cared that she’s that person as long as she could have Jessica close to her.

Years back they were truly happy, planning their future together and not even once Taeyeon imagined her future without this girl by her side. Of course, it all changed in a blink of an eye… but why… unfortunately Taeyeon couldn’t even get an answer to that short question.

She turn off her phone after getting back home and make sure to hide her extra key (knowing how her friends can get sometimes while looking out for her), just for one day (or maybe a couple of days, considering her tendencies) Taeyeon wanted to avoid them all together and reminisce in the past. She was happy back then. If only time could stop at certain moment and things wouldn’t change… if only she could have that happiness back.

 


 

~Three Years Ago~

[FIRST MEETING]

Taeyeon needed a lot of convincing but finally she relented and agreed to help Sunny out with the shortage of staff. She was never the type clubbing type, even working in a bar for one evening sounded somewhat horrifying for the girl… the pay was quite good though. Also, Sunny mentioned about the tips which Taeyeon could keep too. Sunny was convinced that Taeyeon might actually succeed in this job as much as she herself hated the idea of it.

Taeyeon wouldn’t want to agree with it, but Sunny was actually right. Well they both were. First of all, she got lots of tips and earn more in one night than she does in a week, secondly, as predicted she hated such a huge crowd of people.

Most of the evening was spend keeping  distance from them but at some point she had to walk a bit and that’s when the disaster happened, or at least that’s what it looked like at first. She bumped into some stranger and spilled drinks on the girl. All of a sudden Taeyeon felt cold. She never believed that someone standing right in front of you might make you feel like that, but that’s the vibe this girl gave when in curse of events Taeyeon ruined her dress.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

Knowing her place and despite the fact how angry Taeyeon got, she still tried to fix it, taking a napkin from her pocket and trying to help “I’m sorry for…”

“SORRY? YOU’RE FUCKING SORRY? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU JUST….?”

The girl stopped her shouting after finally looking up and seeing Taeyeon. “ARE YOU EVEN LEGAL TO WORK HERE?”

Not again with age. Taeyeon got to roll her eyes at that and still answered calmly “of course I am, or I couldn’t get inside this club.  How about you give me your number and later on I can pay you back for this dress?”

Unexpectedly the girl laughed “As if.”

“Excuse me?”

“As if I’m giving you my number. I can see the way you look at me and if that’s your way of hitting on me then…”

It was Taeyeon’s turn to laugh “Hit on you? I’m sorry miss but after your screaming and calling me a kid, also looking at me like I’m some pervert I don’t have such thoughts on my mind. I’m very sorry for bumping into you and I’ll repay for it if that’s necessary…for the dry cleaning or if you want to buy a new dress… but apart from that, I have no other plans. If you don’t want to give me your number…I think you can ask Sunny, the owner of this club, to help you out with that. If you know Sunny we can even exchange through her.”

“You know Sunny?”

“Yes. She’s a friend and I’m helping her out. Just… I can’t be standing around since I’m still working… if you need me to repay you back… you can ask Sunny… I have to go.”

Taeyeon sigh defeated and walked away. She did find the girl beautiful and thoughts of hitting on her did cross her mind but after the rude rejection she instantly forgot her plans. She rushed away not lying about her load of work and didn’t turn around to look at the icy girl.

She also didn’t notice the girl looking after her with undeniable curiosity.

 


 

[BLIND DATE]

Taeyeon was quite nervous since she got into the restaurant first and now tapped her fingers on the table while looking around anxiously. Sunny’s incoming messages didn’t help to calm her nervousness either.

Sunny: It is the first time I’m forcing you doing something like this but come on Taeng you need to be out there… not in your cave all day long. Try it out for once. 

Sunny: Are you angry? You shouldn’t be angry I’m not the only one who is thinking like that.

Taeyeon: No, but you’re the one forcing me.

Sunny: pff… for once in your life try something new. Also, you will like that girl, I promise you. She’s definitely your type.

Taeyeon: You didn’t even show me her photo… how will I know it is her when she shows up?

Sunny: she knows how you look 😉 and you’re definitely her type 😉

Taeyeon sigh. It was impossible to win against Sunny, and luckily she promised to back away and leave Taeyeon in piece if the date will turn out to be disaster, which is probably what will happen since she’s meeting a complete stranger.

Or so she thought.

“Kim Taeyeon?”

Taeyeon looked up after hearing for some reason familiar voice and soon realized why it sounds familiar. She squinted her eyes for a few seconds trying to remember where she has seen this girl before… yes she’s definitely her type… and she’s gorgeous…

But then it clicked…

“YOU!” Taeyeon pointed her finger at the girl surprised.

“Call me Jessica and that’s rude,” she commented while sitting down in front of her with a smile “and apparently you’re the girl that Sunny kept encouraging me to meet for about two months already… before you know… that club incident.”

Taeyeon wasn’t sure what  to think or what to feel at the moment so she just mumbled under her breath still confused “I wasn’t trying to hit on you.”

“I know. But you can start now.”

 


 

[CONFESSION]

“You don’t need to say anything…I know…I just…I’m stupid…liking…like you…you’re too…you’re Jessica Jung…and I’m…I’m me…can I leave already? I know you joked around with that hitting thing probably laughing about me later… I really can’t take this anymore!” Taeyeon asked a bit desperately and Jessica could already see tears rolling down her cheeks. Meanwhile Jessica couldn’t stop myself and touched her face gently brushing it away.

“Sica…” she shuttered and looked at Jessica sadly meanwhile the girl in question leaned closer whispering until her face was only few inches away from Taeyeon’s “We don’t have a problem here, Taengoo… because I like you too…”

Jessica didn’t leave time for information to sink in and leaned in closing the gap between them kissing Taeyeon gently. Jessica continued on kissing Taeyeon for few minutes keeping it simple, since it was their first kiss. After that she sat back looking at Taeyeon’s lips then at her eyes “so we obviously like each other…”

Jessica spoke up while asking quite randomly in the end “see you tomorrow?”

It took Taeyeon some time but she finally realized what just happened, she blushed which was adorable and smiled shyly “oh…ah…yeah…okay…”

 


 

~Present Time~

As much as Taeyeon liked playing hide and seek and remembering the happy times, Sunny interrupted her not giving up with the bell of her apartment (just like Tiffany before) and managing to get inside the apartment when Taeyeon finally gave up unable to fight anymore.

Taeyeon’s expression said it all after noticing Sunny behind her doors, but the girl in question just walked inside as if she owns the place.

“I talked with Hyun.”

“Of course you did…”

“…”

“It seems like everyone constantly talks about me behind my back… I’m not surprised at all. But please do come in, let’s continue talking about me… You know how I much I like that,” Taeyeon snared sarcastically while heading back to her room.

The apartment was quite messy since Taeyeon didn’t bother to tidy it after Jessica left. Sunny decided to leave the nagging about this for some other day and instead followed Taeyeon into her room.

“I talked with Fany too. Apparently you ignored her calls for two days.”

“I turn off my phone with hope to have some time for myself.” Taeyeon plopped on her bed without showing her face to Sunny.

“To do what?”

Sunny turn around noticing some photos of Taeyeon and Jessica scattered around the bed. “Are you being nostalgic and remembering the good times of your relationship Taeyeon? If you do… I’m not sure if that’s actually helping you out.”

Not getting any answer just some weird noises and mumbles directed to Taeyeon’s pillow, Sunny also jumped onto her bed and patted her butt. “Come on Taeng… you know I want what’s best for you… don’t shut me out.”

“Yeah… what’s best for me… how funny that sounds…”

“Excuse me?”

“If you wanted what’s best for me… you wouldn’t have arranged that stupid blind date and I wouldn’t have met Jessica again… and wouldn’t have fallen for her… and I wouldn’t have my heart broken now…”

Knowing Taeyeon way too well Sunny give her some time and let those words sink in. After about a minute she asked in a motherly tone “do you actually mean it?”

“No…” Taeyeon whispered defeated and turned to Sunny with tears running down her cheeks. The girl looked adorable, like a child, but the scene of that broke Sunny’s heart too. It was indeed the definition of a broken hearted girl.

Younger girl lay next to Taeyeon and rubbed her cheek “Hey… I’m here… I will stay with you for the rest of the evening and we will talk about stuff… you can still remember the past… but talk with me instead… don’t keep it bottled up inside. Also, I think it would help a little if you remember the bad times too… you can’t think only about positive stuff… it doesn’t help you Taengoo… so let’s talk… let’s remember together. Okay?”

Taeyeon bit her lower lip sadly “Okay.”


~One Year Ago~

[FIGHTS]

“FINE.”

“FINE.”

Door was slammed when Taeyeon walked out of the apartment without looking back. Since they decided to move in together that’s how they evenings ended at least three times a week with them pointlessly fighting about stupid things and then one of them leaving the apartment. Both girls fuming until they cleared the air. At some times solving their issues at the end of the night, other times Taeyeon was left to sleep on the couch.

There were fights about that usually continued next morning: how Jessica is the princess in their relationship and how Taeyeon even needs to sacrifice her back, sleeping on uncomfortable coach, while Jessica didn’t have to worry and just enjoy the comfort of their bed.

Despite all those fights and storms out, they still managed to forgive each other and it usually ended in a make up sex. Taeyeon always believed that there is nothing better than a make up sex, especially knowing how more aggressive and passionate Jessica got.


~6 Months ago~

[DISTANCE]

“Again?”

“I’m busy… how about tomorrow? I think we can have lunch together then…”

“But I’m already at the place Sica… You told me the same yesterday…”

Taeyeon could hear annoyance in her girlfriend’s voice. She knew that Jessica was really busy with work, especially recently, but she never broke promises. Before at least.

“Will you tell me the same tomorrow too?”

“Taeyeon, I can’t talk right now. I’m really busy. I’m sorry. Let’s talk about this when I get back home.”

Their conversation ended just like that, Jessica probably didn’t even hear Taeyeon’s comment, and older girl had to sigh at that.


“Taengoo?”

Taeyeon looked up after Jessica stopped in front of her, pulled her in a hug and smiled seductively “so how about that trip?”

“Mmm…” Taeyeon raised her hands too, putting them on Jessica’s waist “You know I want to… I really do but…”

“Not work again.”

“Yes. Work again…”

Jessica instantly retreated back, quite angry and not hiding it. “Will we ever go anywhere? I thought we agreed to take a leave from work at the same time so we can go to America, visit my parents and sister.”

Taeyeon didn’t want to let go so she still kept her hands on Jessica’s waist. “I know… and that’s what I want too. But it just… I can’t right now… no one can’t replace me at the moment…”

Taeyeon hoped that Jessica could understand her, since both of their works requested a lot of time, but it seemed that the girl had a mind of her own and just huffed.

“Whatever. I’m still going. Alone.”


[TRYING]

The couple half lay-half sat on the couch after their latest activity. Jessica’s head on Taeyeon’s shoulder, while older girl hugged her girlfriend possessively. They enjoyed the calmness and company of each other.

“I’m sorry… I have been really busy with work… and well… I was neglecting you in a way,” Jessica apologized sincerely while turning to look at Taeyeon and kissing her on the cheek.

Taeyeon just smiled at her, a bit tired but contented. “It is okay… I wasn’t always supportive and understanding… I think real life gets in a way sometimes… but as long as we keep on trying… love is all that matters, right?”

Jessica couldn’t help but laugh at her cheesy girlfriend.

“Right.”


~Present Time~

“I thought we’re trying… I did keep on trying… I love her… I thought that’s enough Sun… I thought our love will be enough… I know she loved me too… I mean we fought… there where distance between us at times… but that’s just what happens for every couple that dates longer… also ironically we were  even getting better recently… we really were… and I kept on trying… I just wanted to keep calling her mine… “

Taeyeon finally broke and cried while Sunny hugged her, trying to soothe and calm older girl down.

“It is okay… everything will be okay…”

The calming, that same road down the memory lane, the crying, the consoling continued on through the whole evening until Taeyeon finally fall asleep too emotionally exhausted to keep on going.

Deciding that her friend still needs her Sunny stayed in that same position until morning, even letting Taeyeon wake up first.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Slowly Taeyeon sit up in her bed, her voice was hoarse after all that crying. “Thanks for staying.”

“No problem… I don’t want to mention this… but I need to ask Taeyeon… since I found something on the floor… when I sneaked out to go to the bathroom in the middle of night…”

Taeyeon smiled sheepishly after Sunny’s explanation and even laughed in her dorky way “that was probably hilarious”.

“I’m pretty sure you’re imagining me embarrassingly running there or something but don’t you worry, I didn’t embarrass myself and I didn’t wake you up either, so you should be thankful… but seriously…”

Sunny jumped out from the bed hearing her bones cracking and winced. “I found Fany’s note…”, she took it out of her jeans pocket showing the paper to Taeyeon a bit surprised but nevertheless curious since it looked too suspicious for shorter girl.

“I know she doesn’t need to do such stuff since you two always talk it out, say goodbye and all that stuff… so may question is… since when is Fany leaving you notes? I know some people leave notes after one night stands or…”

Sunny mentioned it quite randomly, not even considering that it might have happened between the two, but Taeyeon’s guilty expression said it all.

“YOU HAD ONE NIGHT STAND WITH TIFFANY?”

Love is a Battlefield [Part 2]

“What did you just say?”

If there was ever a moment in here life when Taeyeon was speechless, this one definitely counted as the one where she was most confused.

Tiffany fidgeted slightly, playing with her own fingers, staring at the ground. All that bravely that the girl showed a second ago disappeared into thin air after noticing dumbfounded expression that Taeyeon gave back to her.

The suggestion of course could still be felt in the air, making the situation way more tense.

“Did you just suggest…what I think you suggested?”

Caring about her best friend’s feelings no matter what Taeyeon started thinking for a way of this awkward situation, but Tiffany didn’t help at all. Quite the opposite. It seemed like she got her previous bravely back. She stopped fidgeting with her fingers and looked up, determination could be felt from all her aura.

Determination, bravely and something else that Taeyeon couldn’t quite grasp just yet.

“Yes. I will repeat the question… just to… make sure.” Tiffany cough letting all her doubts disappear.  “So…Tae… you don’t want to forget and have a chance for once with a complete stranger… It makes sense… but I’m no stranger to you. Actually I’m one of the closest people in your life. So my question is simple… how about me? What if you had one night stand with me?”

 

One minute.

Two.

Three.

 

All that time both girls just stared at each other without speaking up. Tiffany decided to wait for some sort of reaction, as hard as it appeared to be with expressionless but probably thinking non-stop Taeyeon in front of her. Meanwhile, just like Tiffany guessed Taeyeon tried to process what she just heard from her best friend. If someone like SeoHyun would have suggested something similar to this, Taeyeon would have instantly started laughing not looking at it seriously. The way that Tiffany looked at her – it didn’t seem like the look of someone who decided to joke around.

“You don’t even… did you forgot that you’re straight…and that straight people don’t go around sleeping with their best friends? I mean… maybe some people do… they call it experiments in college or something like that but… you and me… we’re not some random stupid college girls, Fany. Tiffany.”

“I know.”

“You know?”

“I know. I also realize what I have suggested. I’m not taking my… suggestion back. I’m not.”

Taeyeon sigh. She couldn’t found words to describe how weird this whole situation appeared. She tried to remember if Tiffany drank a lot of alcohol but of course, out of all of her friends she was the only one who had such effect to this devil’s drink. Even the youngest of all of her friends, the serious, responsible one, handle her drinks way better than Taeyeon. Also, Tiffany was one of the couple that could drink the most and at the end of the night only get a little bit tipsy. Taeyeon couldn’t blame alcohol for any of this.

“Why are you so serious Taeyeon? I’m not declaring my undying love for you. I’m not expecting or asking anything out of this either. I’m a concern friend who sees that you actually need this and isn’t that the best distraction when you REALLY think about it? When was even the last time when you slept with Jessica? I don’t want to mention her name…I’m sorry about that… but I’m pretty sure that it has been a long time since you actually get some.”

“Doesn’t mean that I need to go around randomly sleeping with people!”

“How is this random? I have already told you, I’m far from random people!”

Taeyeon managed to roll her eyes and shook her head at the same time turning around, ready to go into her apartment since everything that she heard recently sounded like nuisance.

Tiffany wondered what made her react in this sort of way, giving out to the anger and forgetting consequences, but she did reach out for Taeyeon again, not only turning the girl around but kissing her on the lips too.

At first, Taeyeon didn’t plan on kissing Tiffany back at all. She even fought a little bit and she would have stayed in control if Tiffany hadn’t bitten on her lower lip.

Taeyeon’s weak spot that people didn’t actually know about.

The second that Taeyeon got truly shocked was when Tiffany even managed to sneak in tongue into her mouth for more passionate kiss. After this, even Taeyeon was a lost case. Getting lost in passionate moment seemed too easy. It  helped forgetting about the rest of the world.

Tiffany even held hands on Tae’ waist to keep shorter girl in tact and enjoying the dominant role that had to end sooner or later. Unfortunately, realization of her actions somehow got back to Tiffany and she slowly pulled back looking down instead of at the girl that still stood in front of her.

“Is what I’m suggesting really such a nuisance? I know that’s what you have been thinking. I know you too well.  I mean… you know you don’t need to keep everything battled up inside and do this alone…I’m here…”, she didn’t dare to look up and Taeyeon was still silent just panting heavily.

Tiffany coughed awkwardly noticing that even though her lips left Tae’s… her hands had a mind of their own and stayed on Taeyeon’s waist.

“I guess…the fact that you still didn’t give any sign means that I should probably apologize for all of this…”, she rambled again, a bit uncertain and the fact Taeyeon still hasn’t uttered a word made the situation more awkward.

After some time, having no other choice Tiffany mustered her courage and looked up. It didn’t look like Taeyeon planned on moving from her position. Instead she kept on staring at Tiffany’s lips. The same thing that shorter girl must have been doing during all the time Tiffany talked.

Feeling quite self aware Tiffany still questioned  “are you… very…angry with me?”

Tiffany didn’t know how to interpret Taeyeon’s actions (or let’s face it: she did absolutely nothing expect answering the kiss earlier) and silence. In any other situation Taeyeon’s silence was a normal thing that her friends were used to, but this couldn’t be called simple.

It took some time but Taeyeon finally shook her head shortly without answering but looked up to stare back at Tiffany.

Without giving it a second thought, but somehow feeling a bit encouraged Tiffany started leaning ahead for the second time and stopped herself just the last second “I’m sorry I don’t know what I’m doing” taking a deep breath.

A breath that she indeed needed because after her retreat Taeyeon was the one who leaned in capturing her lips while mumbling “this means nothing.”

It was time for Tiffany to be surprised but she reacted faster than Taeyeon before. Once again they found themselves in situation with a passionate kiss that lead them into Taeyeon’s apartment.

Older girl still kept repeating how all of it meant nothing, trying to convince them both, but finding Tiffany’s lips quite addictive. Tiffany didn’t say anything and didn’t back out from her initial preposition, enjoying the fact how Taeyeon’s and her’s lips fit together and made her giddy inside.


 

Alarm clock.

No.

Phone.

Taeyeon practically jumped out of her bed after realizing that it is her phone and it have been ringing for quite some time already which probably meant that someone was impatient.

Taeyeon rolled around in bed and sleepily picked up after noticing that it was SeoHyun. Older girl hoped that the youngest didn’t disturb her sleep for nothing.

“Hey, Taeyeon unnie. Ahem… I’m not sure if I should tell you but… I have just talked with Jessica unnie and…”

“I’m listening.” Taeyeon commented more attentively after hearing Jessica’s name and even sitting straight.

“Well…as I have mentioned… I’m not sure if I should mention it but Jessica unnie is leaving to Paris today… I don’t know if you knew but…”

“WHAT?”

“I mean since you broke up, you probably didn’t and…”

“WHAT? WHEN? WHAT DO YOU KNOW?”

Taeyeon slightly panicked even jumping out of bed and looking around. Great. Naked. Wait…why am I naked? Oh… right…

“In about two hours… I met her quite accidentally while she was heading there… not sure how long it will… hey… hello?”

Taeyeon put her phone away not really caring much about it and looked around the bed noticing a pink note.

-Call me when you want to meet up for coffee. Don’t you dare disappearing for another week again. – Fany.

Taeyeon couldn’t help but roll her eyes after realizing that Tiffany didn’t go back on her words for ‘helping out’ and will probably now starts pretending that this never happened.

In any other situation Taeyeon would have though if it is the same for her and she can go back to pretending that nothing happened, but right now the girl had other things on her mind.

She looked around quickly picking things around and getting dressed. Airport. Now.


 

The scene indeed reminded one of those you could witness in romantic movies when Taeyeon shouted from far away and ran to stop Jessica with evident surprise on her face.

“You’re leaving? Why didn’t you tell me that you’re leaving?”

If Jessica was surprised after seeing the girl in front of herself she didn’t show it. “Taengoo, what are you doing here? We broke up… I didn’t really need to tell you everything now, don’t you think?”

“You broke up with me.” Taeyeon commented bitterly.

Jessica smiled sadly and apologetically. Taeyeon could actually see sincerity in her actions when she touched Taeyeon’s cheek and lean in giving older girl a short chase goodbye kiss.

“I did… it was time… for both of us… Since you heard that I’m leaving… you know that I’m going to Paris…and if you’re asking when I’m getting back…I don’t know… it might be years or more… I won’t be rushing back and you shouldn’t be wondering or wait… since I broke up with you.” Jessica ended the sentence on that same sad note.

“I still… don’t understand…”

“I know you don’t. I can’t love you the same and I can’t stay in this relationship… so this where we are saying our goodbyes. Please, Taengoo, just let me go without any more dramas especially here, okay?”

Jessica felt the need to request the last thing when Taeyeon grabbed her hand after that short kiss before. Luckily for younger girl Taeyeon slowly pulled her hand away and looked down. Defeated.

“Okay.”

The sign in front of her did break Jessica’s heart but it was the time to leave so that is what she did.

Jessica did wave her hand before turning around and walking away but she didn’t glance back to see if Taeyeon stood at the same place for longer. She knew Taeyeon did. Waiting for the very last moment with hope that Jessica might still turn around… wondering if Jessica actually didn’t care about her anymore.

In that position Taeyeon didn’t get to see Jessica’s face too. She didn’t see the tear that Jessica quickly brushed away from her cheek, because the truth is simple…

Things are never as simple and easy as they seem to be.

 

Love is a Battlefield [Part 1]

Taeyeon sigh and rolled her eyes. That’s the only reaction she gave to her best friend Tiffany who insisted to hear what is happening and why she looks so down lately. Taeyeon was never a bubble person, running around or smiling like tomorrow doesn’t matter, but even during the hardest of times, she didn’t force her smile. At least not in front of her friends. Apparently, it changed recently. Tiffany couldn’t remember the last time she saw Taeyeon smiling and it hurt. Seeing someone who you care about so deeply looking and feeling down, truly hurt.

“Just please… talk to me. You know I’ll listen. I want to know what’s the matter with you… I understand if you don’t tell stuff like that to others… but me? I thought we have no secrets”.

Taeyeon sigh. Defeated.

“What do you want to know Fany?”

“Why are you so down? What’s the matter? I haven’t seen your sincere smile for awhile. Maybe it involves Jessica? I know your relationship… well it was a bit rocky lately… does it involve her? Jessica has been pushing me away too… I mean… let’s face it… I’m not her number one fan… we’re not friends or anything but… she usually answered my questions involving you… so…”

Tiffany had no idea what those questions did to Taeyeon and the fact that smaller of the two didn’t answer, only made Tiffany continue in asking. She felt determined to know everything, silent treatment wasn’t working anymore. Also, it is not like she could ask anyone else. No one knew what’s the matter with those two.

Literally.

No one.

It took good 10 minutes for Tiffany to continue asking questions and Taeyeon staring ahead into nothing. It looked like her soul just left her body for that period of time and it didn’t rush on getting back. Only when Tiffany shut her mouth and stopped with the questions, Taeyeon stood up, not giving in.

Not yet.

“We will talk about this some other time, okay? Just not today… I’m really… really… not in the mood”.

Tiffany didn’t even get a chance to react when Taeyeon stood up and left the room.

Well it didn’t go well.

 


 

Taeyeon lay on her bed in a fetus position. The girl stopped crying few days ago… probably because there were no more tears left.

At first, she wondered how long can someone cry before they feel nothing… before they feel empty and stop responding to the world around them.

It has been almost a week… a week since Jessica left her. Three years of relationship… and now… Taeyeon was all alone. Alone in this gigantic apartment that once belong to both of them.

All Taeyeon saw around was darkness and not because it was a night time. The truth was, Taeyeon didn’t bother to open her eyes up, there was nothing to look forward to.

Taeyeon thought back on their relationship. They were happy, yes they fight… but all things considered — they were just an ordinary couple.

Maybe that’s why Taeyeon hadn’t expected Jessica to tell her that it is over. To tell her that she had thought about it for a long time, but waited only because she didn’t want to hurt Taeyeon.

What was left for Taeyeon to do was just lie down and think about her misery.

 


 

Taeyeon stood up and walked to the door, not being able to bear the sound. Someone kept knocking even though normally people would have given up after have an hour.

Taeyeon didn’t need to check who came and opened the door immediately.

“Fany…what a surprise” commenting a bit bitterly.

“You haven’t picked up your phone for a week…they send me to check if you’re still alive”.

Taeyeon went inside the apartment looking around shortly.

“Messy”.

“Is there…something that you actually need?”

“YES! You know…first of all, it is not the end of the world… secondly, you’re not the only one hurting in this world”.

Taeyeon rolled her eyes not showing much of an interest, before she got a change to comment or ask Tiffany to leave, younger girl added.

“Now…get dressed… we’re going out and helping you to move on!”

“What…no…what would be the point?”

“What would be the point? How about not giving up on everything? Yes, I know… three years of a relationship is… well… indeed a long time… you’re hurting now, but locking yourself inside this apartment won’t help… neither for you…nor for all of us… we worry about your health TaeTae. So go and change. I’m not taking no for an answer”.

All Taeyeon could do was sigh. She could never win against Tiffany.


 

Taeyeon looked around and sigh (AGAIN) while playing with her drink. “I mean I get it…some people prefer spending their Friday nights at the club… but I didn’t think we belong to that category”.

Surprisingly Seohyun was excited and enjoyed her time in the dance floor meanwhile Tiffany (who did the same just a minute ago, decided to check on sulking Taeyeon).

“I think we deserve to relax a little bit…and clear our minds… for example you could try to have a chat with someone… meet new people, who knows you might just get a crush on someone”.

“Really, Fany? REALLY? After three years in a relationship and only a week later after the break up? I can move on just like that? And why are you so full of energy?”

Taeyeon raised her eyebrows looking at one of her best friends skeptically.

“Why not? What’s the point of staying in your room and crying? What would you gain by that? Nothing! Instead you could try something you never did before.”

Tiffany commented with determination.

“And that is…?” Taeyeon once again questioned keeping the conversation going but not showing too much of an interest.

“One night stand!” Tiffany stated excitedly.

Hearing that Taeyeon spilled her drink accidentally (probably trying to process the latest information) “…wait… what?”

“You have been with Jessica for three years… You haven’t been with anyone else. I mean… You have never considered being with someone else as you were pretty sure, that you two will stay together forever. But life doesn’t work that way… so yeah… tonight you should try doing something out of ordinary”.

“You’re joking, right?”

“Since when you’re against it?”

“Since… you once told me…that it is pointless…I mean come on… I would be sleeping with someone who I’m not going to see ever again! Isn’t that kind of irresponsible? Also… I would obviously be sleeping with someone who only wants me for my body! No one looks at one night stand seriously!”

Seohyun came to the girls at the same time putting both hands on Tiffany’s shoulders and looking at Taeyeon excitedly.

“Heeeey! What are you two talking about? Let’s go dancing! The night is young!”

“You’re barely standing…”

Taeyeon commented judgmentally.

“But you’re here so… please tell Tiffany that having a one night stand with complete stranger is TOTALLY not worth it and it is pointless!”

“Oh…you’re planning that?”

Taeyeon seemed annoyed and tired “I’m certainly not planning that. Instead, I would rather go home. You’re barely standing Seo, so I think it would be better to take you home too.”

After a second or so she turned and looked at Tiffany, slightly annoyed, which younger girl could sense after knowing Taeyeon for so many years.

“You’re going or not?”

 


 

 

After bringing Seohyun home and confirming that she got to her bed safely, without causing trouble, embarrassing herself or throwing up after consuming so much alcohol, the two headed back home, or at least that was the plan until Tiffany questioned.

“Maybe I should stay with you? Who knows, you might lock yourself for another week and ignore our calls. You do know we kept on calling you none stop every day, right?”

Taeyeon didn’t have strength in herself to argue about it, so just drove directly to her home, dealing with occasional Tiffany’s attempts to get her attention.

“TaeTae…”

“Taeyeon”

“Kim?”

“Taeeeee?”

“TaeTaeTaeTaeTaeTae”

As you can guess none of these attempts worked, they only angered Taeyeon more. She stood her ground though, and didn’t speak up until they reached the apartment and walked hand in hand.

Only 5 minutes later, she finally sigh, unable to keep on being angry at her best friend any longer.

“I don’t get where you get your crazy ideas from, but seriously Tiffany… I would never do that with a stranger…”

Taeyeon was met with silence and honestly, it did surprise older girl. She even felt guilty for ignoring Tiffany all the way back, but after turning around and coming face to face with Tiffany, she squinted her eyes confused. Next words that came from Tiffany’s mouth was something that never expected to hear.

“So how about me. What if you had one night stand with me?”

 

 

Chains

You and that smile of yours. Eye-smile, the thing that made you this popular in the first place… everyone remembered you by it and by that small mistakes while calling yourself ‘Mushroom’.

Two things that remain the same from the beginning of our careers.

The truth is that the smile of yours was something I got to witness first. Before the fans, before the fame, before your boyfriend and all those scandals when netizens imagined that you’re dating someone.

Honestly, back then I had no idea that you could become a trouble. My biggest distractions and at the same time the most important person in my life. Fans were quick to catch on small details or even my jealousy when you got too clingy with other members. Ironically, our fans always argued, some saying that its just an imagination and that’s how friends act, others pointing out details, the looks and claiming that our relationship is true.

There have been many times when I wanted to confirm it… at any point during the interview, during our tour when everyone got louder and more excited whenever Tiffany and me got to stand closer to each other. I was so immersed in all it and so close to just open up during my short reality show when Fany acted as MC and asked me ‘What life means to you’.

I even started saying that there’s this me and there is another one… Taeyeon that no one knows about but of course… you looked clueless… I just couldn’t do it. As much as I wanted to tell everyone and confirm their doubts: what would I actually win with it? More scandals? Hate?

That’s the thing about K-Pop fans… they imagine/want their pairings to be together in real life, but if that would actually happen… the media and all of them would go crazy. Some would probably say ‘I knew this all along’, others would be fast to judging. In this society…even dating when the girl is older than a guy is somewhat a taboo…

I know about it… I got to witness this first hand. It is not only that boy and girl groups can’t mix, because ‘Stay away from my oppa’, but also it is somehow required that the guy should be older. It does make little sense, right? I mean… then how about couples that have 20 or even 30 years difference? So it is very wrong if a girl is few years older, but if the guy is 20 years older it is completely acceptable?

Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

But even if I’m concentrating on this that doesn’t have much importance…at least not when I’m alone with my thoughts. Whenever that happens, all I can think about is Fany. When we first met… I had no idea… that with her wine-stained lips, yeah, she’s nothing but trouble, cold to the touch but she’s warm as a devil. If I knew… maybe I would have stayed away and wasn’t that eager to be her roommate. Though if we believe in destiny and remember the fact that she’s the most important person in my life… maybe I didn’t have much choice with it. It just happened. What hurt at first was the fact that I gave her my heart but she wanted my soul. She takes ’til I break and I can’t get more.

When people talk about love, they like skipping the bad parts and concentrate only on the happy moments. It is easier this way, since we people tend to avoid getting hurt… but I’m not skipping the worse. Not now… I need to get this out of my system.

I can’t lie and pretend… for a very long time, I was the only one who fell in love. I was the only one looking at Tiffany in a special way and waited for her attention. Yes… she gave me a lot of it, but it was pretty much the same communication and interaction like with all the other members. The only difference is that our fans tend to over-analyze  situations and I… just like them… kept on watching those videos. The ones that made it looked like Fany is the ones who’s jealous… or the ones where it looked like she’s staring at me.

But I knew better. There were few moments when Tiffany looked at me, but most of other times, she looked passed me. Ironically, there was a moment when I thought she stared at me, when instead she kept on giving glances to Nickhun sitting next to me. Stuff like that hurts, doesn’t it?

That is why I tried to break the chains but the chains only break me. I tried to avoid feeling like that. I got pretty depressed at that point, but it didn’t stop me. I tried avoiding Tiffany or started fighting with her for no apparent reason. Our fight in Japan is still a popular topic among the fans though… it didn’t really go exactly like they think it did. The truth was… I couldn’t avoid my feelings anymore and told her about it…or should I say…I shouted the words out loud.

It wasn’t the best kind of confession and it didn’t get a happy ending at that point, because Fany couldn’t tell me that she feels the same way. My confession confused her and we faked ‘being okay’ in front of the fans for awhile, while alone we barely looked at each other. It was too awkward and all the members felt it… the most ironic part was when we kept on telling about our fight in Japan everyone seemed to enjoy it.

We laughed.

She laughed.

I cried inside.

I’m still unsure why but one day all of a sudden Fany told me that she wants to try. She wasn’t sure, but I’m too important person in her life not to give it a try…guess what… we failed the first time… our interactions were quick… meaningless… and it was me who said that we need to stop this… I told her convincingly that I’ll forget about this feeling and move on.

For a while I succeeded… why else would I have dated Baekhyun. Also… it was better this way. Tiffany had a boyfriend and seemed to be happy about it… we barely talked about stuff like dating anymore, but at the same time we were back to normal… best friends… closer than best friend… we were like family to each other.

But there were times… when… I was alone in the night ’til she knocked on my door. Wasted again but I couldn’t say no. I wanted to ask “Baby tell me why, why you do, do me wrong” because I did gave her my heart but she took my soul.

It took years for Tiffany… literally… years… to admit to herself what she’s feeling for me. Even when she did and when she came looking for me at those moments of weakness… Fany always told me that it can’t last… it can only be a temporal things until we find our other half… get married… just like the society expects us to do.

Still, she was the first one who broke up with Nickhun though they  had it all. A lot of times Fany told other members that she can see the rest of her life with Nickhun, that he makes her truly happy…makes her feel loved and there is nothing else she needs… except… she did… she needed me… just like I needed her.

That’s why I can call this ‘Chains’… because we were chained to each other. Our souls and hearts intervene… and just like chain reaction somehow we stayed close to each other, unable to break free.

We tried break the chains but the chains only break us. When we weren’t together, it hurt more than all the uncertainty and fear.

At the end, we decided not to care anymore. No… we won’t make this official. The world (or let’s say – Korea) is not ready for it… but secretly… we belong to each other… our supporters gets enough of clues of that. We buy matching accessories and clothes, we share a lot of videos and photos together, we talked a lot about the other whenever we get interviewed for our solos.

So yeah… when we talk about love, we need to talk about bad stuff too. But guess what… even though Fany got me in chains, she got me in chains for her love. But I wouldn’t change, no, I wouldn’t change this love.

Her eye-smile and nickname ‘Mushroom’ are two things that remain from the beginning of our careers, but there is one more thing that people are not aware of and that is my love for Fany.

 


 

A/N:  Inspired by Nick Jones – Chains. I would suggest listening to it while reading the story 🙂

Written in Taeyeon’s point of view. Short one (I guess counts as a drabble). I just kind of come up with this while listening to the song and…yeah… I sat down to write it. (You can see the lyrics in the process of the story, they’re written in italic).

I will be honest, this is very random, written some time ago but I decided to repost it here too.

 

 

Drive Me Crazy (1)

They broke up. Hurtful words were said to each other, some things that you couldn’t take back even if you want to. They said enough – to the point were you don’t want to look at each others face ever again.

One rushed out of the apartment with a loud bang of the door, while the other just stood still.

There was no turning back after it since both knew that neither will apologize or try to save this three years relationship.

It was kind of ironic that a saying – love last three years – existed in their situation. Falling out of love, that what happened naturally, slowly. At the same time it was like a constant reminder that they failed.

Promises of forever that both made years ago faded into black. It seemed like that’s the end of the road and they won’t even need to see each others faces again.

Of course… fate had a different plan this time round.


“Wait… you’re joking around, right?”

Sunny couldn’t believed that she just heard. Hasn’t her friend Taeyeon suffered enough already?

“For how long? Three months?”

Taeyeon looked down and sigh. The smaller tired girl seemed defeated at this point. She couldn’t keep up with what Sunny was talking and probably heard only half of the stuff. She was lucky enough that Sunny didn’t catch on that she was spacing out most of the time.

“Yeah… I don’t have a choice”.

“But do you two need to live together? Like is there really no other way?”

“Soon-kyu…. would I be telling you it if I had an alternative?”

“But…But…”

It appeared that younger girl was lost for words still staring at blank Taeyeon. Older girl just shrugged her shoulders as if she has accepted the situation knowing that there is no way out of it and she needs to deal with it, in order to survive in this cruel world. That sounded depressing enough and other people who might have read Taeyeon’s thoughts would have probably got scared or really concerned but it is not like she cared much about any of it anymore.

Also, it was kind of the first time when she felt kind of relieved after hearing loud voice of her other friend – Sooyoung. That girl practically screamed for food the moment she noticed it across the restaurant and at any other given moment Taeyeon would have covered her face and felt embarrassed. This particular day… she didn’t care that much about her friend’s expressive ways.

Sooyoung sat down and stared eating before evening saying hello to her friend. Sunny had to roll eyes at that but gave the girl some time to chew on food.

“WHAT DID I MISS?”

It wasn’t said that coherently since the food kept on reappearing in the youngest of the three mouth.

“Just Taengoo life crisis…”

“WHAT? WAIT? WHAT ELSE HAPPENED? IS IT NOT ENOUGH THAT YOU BROKE UP?”

Taeyeon sigh and look around with desperation. She didn’t get embarrassed when Sooyoung showed up, but did the rest of the world really needed to know about her failed relationship? Leave it to her best friends to make her feel like the biggest losers. As much as Taeyeon loved and was thankful for the two – this particular day gave her less and less joy.

Taeyeon bit her lip, preventing herself from harsh comments. It is enough that she said all of those things to Tiffany, of course Tiffany didn’t held herself  back either, but it has been quite a dreadful week and Taeyeon didn’t want to push her friends away because of this situation. Luckily, Sunny seemed to read her mind and gave Sooyoung an answer instead.

“It is even worse than a break up… she will have to live with Miyoung for 3 months”.

If something might have stopped Sooyoung for eating it was this exact moment. Right now food was long forgotten, though she still couldn’t keep her mouth closed.

“WHAT?”

“Yeah… I’m not joking, Taengoo just told me about it. I bet she doesn’t want to keep on talking about this matter any further…  imagine how awkward it might get to stay with your ex girlfriend of three years… in the same apartment… for three more months… so you can get the money and sell it out or there is no deal with the landlord? I mean… what kind of landlord is that even? Why can’t he just sell the place?”

“It is a she…”

Taeyeon spoke up quietly and sigh.

“I think you met her once… during our New Year’s party… Yoona believes in true love and second chances… she’s insane like that and… I wouldn’t be surprised if she expects that three months might actually save our relationship”.

“How can three months save something that’s beyond repair?”

Taeyeon laughed at Sooyoung’s question since it was exactly the same thing that she thought. She couldn’t believe that Yoona would play such a trick on both of them, but they couldn’t escape the hopeless romantic that Yoona was… she forced them to write down a contract… three months later they get the money and will be free to go their own ways. Until then, they  will still be stuck in the same place.

As if wanting to prove a point that she won’t be backing down Yoona even decided that it is a perfect time for her to take a short vacation and she might be unavailable for at least a month.

It was the first time when Taeyeon regretted befriending someone. Except that she had many regrets in life… regret of leaving Jessica for Tiffany when she fell foolishly in love with the girl… regret of moving in together after one year of relationship. Regret of keeping up with it even when everything seemed to fall apart.

To put it simply – never ending regret, that might just follow her for a little bit longer.

“So okay… I just need to make sure… you…Tiffany… 3 months… same apartment… so you will be like roommates until that Yoona gets back and you will be free?”

Leave it for Sooyoung to describe a complicated situation in a very simple manner.


“I’m home”.

Taeyeon wasn’t sure why she said it out loud. Like a habit from the past, when they were still foolishly in love. In a perfect scenario, they love would have never ended and Tiffany would have ran into her hands, hugging the girl, giving her kisses all over her face and enthusiastically telling Taeyeon about her day.

This wasn’t how it happened though. Instead no one answered her and few minutes later Taeyeon found Tiffany sitting on their couch watching TV. It was once again quite ironic that this particular situation reminded her all of those times when they fought and Taeyeon was the one sleeping on this couch hoping to solve their problems next morning.

“Are you mute now?”

Taeyeon wasn’t even sure why she said it so harshly, but you can’t blame the girl for getting annoyed when her greeting was ignored.

Tiffany just rolled her eyes.

“I’m very loud and always talk too much. Since you hated it this much, why are you suddenly complaining when I chose your way?”

Sarcasm was heard loud and clear. It sort of reminded Taeyeon about their break up scene too. She did tell Tiffany that the girl was too loud, whiny, too much of an American style with her touchy hands and a need of comfort. Taeyeon added that she was too possessive, too jealous, too childish. Taeyeon also complained that Tiffany always talked too much telling her about things that she had no interest in and she got tired of listening to it.

Of course half of these things were lies. In the past Taeyeon loved it, just hearing Tiffany’s voice, especially her sleepy voice, when the girl felt the need to complete the story as tired as she got. But with everything pilling up and while only hateful words were exchanged between the two, Taeyeon didn’t feel the need to reminiscence the past.

“Fine. Don’t talk. Let’s see how long you can last.”

Tiffany snorted at the remark while crossing hands.

“You should try talking more, we can switch places. Wouldn’t that be entertaining?”

“Why should I talk? I have nothing to say to you.”

It sounded bad and Taeyeon knew it.

In the past she would have instantly apologized to Tiffany and tried making up for it, saying that she doesn’t actually mean it, that she just had a very stressful day at work, but it was in the past. For some reason Taeyeon had to keep reminding it to herself, it was easier not needing to see Tiffany’s face since the girl was still facing the TV.


Neither of the two know how or why this happened. One moment they were happy and next moment everything started falling apart.

The quirks of each other that in the past they both adored started irritating them. It reached the point where they didn’t even want to see each others faces and tried running around each other: Taeyeon sacrificing sleep and leaving for work way too earlier, Tiffany staying up late and going out with their friends every night.

Another problem was with drunk Tiffany getting back home in the middle of the night and Taeyeon who couldn’t handle the smell of alcohol. It seemed that only when Tiffany drank a little she wanted to get closer to Taeyeon and ignite the fire that they used to feel for each other, but it wasn’t the best time since every time she got rejected by Taeyeon.

Actually it irked Taeyeon the most.

How their relationship get to the point that only when she was drunk did Tiffany want to be intimate? Also, the pervert as her friends classified her long time ago, Taeyeon didn’t seem that gawk at Tiffany’s body as much as before.

Tiffany was still undeniably beautiful in Taeyeon’s eyes but it just didn’t feel the same anymore.


“ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

It was the first time in a whole day when Tiffany snickered to herself. Her conversation with Taeyeon was long forgotten when the girl went to take a shower, unaware that Tiffany used all the hot water. Obviously, she got surprised – way too used – to comfortable shower to check.

Tiffany was always considerate in the past and left enough of water for her girlfriend, but it is not like she needs to keep on doing this. Right?

“TI…FFA….NY…SERIOUSLY!”

She heard more growls, gasps and pretests and for some reason enjoyed it more than anything else through this whole day.


“WE NEED RULES.” Taeyeon marched out of their shared bathroom with only a robe covering her body. Not that she cared. Actually, the girl was fuming, it could have been seen from her red cheeks and wide eyes.

Tiffany smirked to herself but didn’t budge. If Taeyeon hates her talks so much, why does she need to bother and answer her?

“ARE YOU HEARING ME?”

“TIFFANY?”

“HWANG? I WILL SERIOUSLY… ARGH!”

Taeyeon turn around and walked again locking herself in the bathroom thinking of what could she do to convince Tiffany. A lot of times Tiffany needed some convincing, Taeyeon didn’t expect that it might turn out like this were they will be considered as exes still living together, but they need to make it – somehow.

Maybe Taeyeon just needs to prove a point for that to happen.


Tiffany had about five minutes to gloat in victory, feeling like she has defeated Taeyeon as if that was the most important thing she should do.

It didn’t last for long though.

It only lasted until the moment when Taeyeon walked out from the bathroom for the second time that evening, this time purposely walking to Tiffany’s side so the younger girl would notice her.

For a good 30 seconds Tiffany was left speechless, up until the moment when her mind started working again.

“WHAT THE… WHY ARE YOU NAKED?”

Taeyeon just shrugged her shoulders. “I can do whatever I want in my apartment. Can’t I?”

Purposely Taeyeon decided to walk closer and even sat on the couch next to Tiffany, feigning ignorance and looking at TV.

Tiffany jumped from the couch with red cheeks and this time she was the one fuming with anger “GET DRESSES. WE WILL MAKE THE LIST OF RULES.”

Younger girl ran off to the kitchen not needing to see Taeyeon in all her glory right now.

She has seen the girl naked so many times in the past, she wasn’t sure why it felt so different now, but it indeed made her feel uncomfortable.

The fact that all of a sudden Tiffany was sexually frustrated though few weeks ago she didn’t even want to look at Taeyeon’s direction annoyed her the most.

It was Taeyeon’s time to gloat and snicker to herself, her happiness was also not long lived when Tiffany shouted from the kitchen.

“GET DRESSED AND GET IN HER RIGHT NOW OR I WILL SMASH YOUR PHONE AND YOU WILL LOSE ALL YOUR STUPID GAME POINTS!”

Taeyeon dashed into the bathroom like a Olympics runner after hearing that.