Teach Me

“You have been eating sushi with your fingers this whole evening, does it mean that you don’t know how to use chopsticks?” Taeyeon asked with amusement while raising her eyebrows and questioning my eating habit. Truth be told, I do know how to use chopsticks and I have been eating that way for at least 10 years, but tonight I decided to throw my ‘skills’ away and just enjoy this little date. I didn’t expect this kind of ‘amusing’ reaction from my girlfriend though. Her eyes tells me that she might think of something that I’ll certainly like, so who am I not to use this opportunity for my own advantage.

“Mmm… no.”

Just like I guessed Taeyeon smiled intrigued and walked around the table settling behind me. Luckily, we chose to order food and enjoy our dinner in Tae’s apartment or other people in restaurant setting might have looked weirdly at such scene in front of their eyes.

“Well… I guess this means I have to teach you.” I could hear excitement coming from her voice, and I loved it. I’m pretty sure the same could be said in Taeyeon’s case.

I don’t know why, or when it started, but whenever Taeyeon finds out that there is something that I’m not familiar with, or something that I don’t excel in, she finds it her own task to teach me how to do it. At times, it is quite funny because she’s not good at things herself, so she has to learn it first, before giving me lessons.

I couldn’t count on my fingers how many new things she showed me in these couple of years, but I do have few that I remember time after time and smile to myself. For example, the time when Taeyeon teach me how to ride a bike. I think I do have to mention that I was scared of those things. Luckily for me, she was very patient and we probably looked funny from the side. Taeyeon ran after the bike while holding to it and finally let go in the same way that parents do to their children. I have to say she was just as excitement as me with our success.

Another memorable moment was the time when Taeyeon tough me how to bake cookies. I’m not a good cook and she’s the one that makes us food whenever we’re staying in, but Taeyeon wanted to try something new and was determined enough to force me into it. I wasn’t very successful (the first 10 times) but with time I got better and I can proudly say that today I can make (almost) decent cookies that my girlfriend eats every single time without complaining.

I mean… I don’t think I’m that good, since Yoona tried one once and spit it out. She’s not someone who says ‘no’ to food, so it was a good giveaway, but Taeyeon keeps on saying that I’m getting better every time and never backs away from eating the treats, so I’m not one to complain.

But let’s go back to the current – most important moment, shall we? It is not the first time when I’m acting that I don’t know how to do something, to see my girlfriend in ‘confident and determined’ action, so I’m truly curious how she’ll handle me this time.

“I think this might get messy,” I commented holding in my victorious smirk.

“We shall see. But I don’t mind. Even though I do find you sexy while you’re eating with your fingers… that’s a bit distracting.”

We both laughed at the same time, since let’s make this clear – my girlfriend is a proud pervert and I have learn to both accept and enjoy this side of hers.

Taeyeon grabbed the chopsticks with her left hand while placing them into my right hand, positioning my fingers around them. Then she guided the chopstick-holding hand to the sushi and successfully manipulated my fingers until I picked up a piece and dipped into soy sauce. After this, she lifted it towards my mouth.

I could have ended this successfully, but I wouldn’t be – ME, if I won’t do this a bit differently. Also, who succeeds at their first try? That’s just absurd.

So instead, I made sure that my hand shook a little and let the sushi slide away when it was almost in my mouth. It fell down and for a moment I cursed at myself for not counting the right time, since I can feel rice and fish both on my neck and somewhere south under my t-shirt.

I change my mind about cursing when I hear Taeyeon chuckling at the scene and she decides to help me out with lowering her mouth and tasting rice from my neck.

“Should I help you with the rest too?” I could practically hear her smiling, though I can’t see my girlfriend’s face at the moment.

“Mmm” I hear my quiet moan, while I’m considering the suggestion. “I though you want to teach me how to use chopsticks?”

Taeyeon snickered once again, while taking care of those things and leaving them on the table, planting another short kiss to my temple.

“I would love to teach you, since you know how much I like doing that, but it is a bit unfair, when you already know how to use chopsticks. Babe, it is not the first time we’re eating sushi together. I mean… it has been a while, but last time we did it… we sat in a restaurant and it didn’t seem like you found any trouble with handling these things.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at my own stupidity. Of course, for a moment I did forget about our previous dates, but it is quite easy to lose your mind when Taeyeon gets closer to you, or when she’s sitting behind you and hugging you. Believe me, you would lose your mind in this kind of situation too.

“Damn… why you didn’t tell me?”

Taeyeon shrugged her shoulders while hugging me from behind and lowering her jaw to my temple.

“Well, I noticed that glint in your eyes when you got excited after my question, the same one I see every single time when I suggest teaching you something new. So I couldn’t pass out on this opportunity… also, it was one heck of a day and I wanted to hug and feed my girlfriend. Is that wrong?”

I had to give it to her. Taeyeon is indeed a sweet talker, she could probably successfully talk me into anything. “Far from it… so… will you keep on teaching me, babe?”

Once again, I didn’t need to see Taeyeon to know that she kept on smiling after hearing my question, and quickly she grabbed the chopsticks landing them back to my hand. “Of course. But… you do know that half of that sushi is somewhere behind your t-shirt, right? This is distracting me way more than you eating with your bare fingers.”

“Well… we can deal with it later… I’ll let you inspect and find the remains of that piece after we finish eating, how about that?”

Taeyeon chuckled and it was similar to a confirmation. “I can’t wait.”

Let’s face it – so can’t I.


Our Kind of Paradise

Kim Taeyeon 

This week has been crazy! First Tiffany told me that she’s in love with me and then – she asked me on a date! A DATE! Obviously, I told her yes. She’s drop dead gorgeous and I’m one of those people who believe that love has no gender. So I’m really excited to say that tonight is the night. I’m going on a date with Tiffany. She’s 1 years younger and a bit taller than me (it is not something I should pay attention to, but somehow it is one thing that I have always noticed. After all, my best friend Sunny is the only one who is smaller than me.) Luckily, I was saved from getting lost in these kind of thoughts after hearing a knock on the door.

“I’m getting ready! Leave me alone for a bit! “

I heard laughs from the other side of the door: Sunny and Sooyoung just had to walk inside and inspect how I look tonight.

“Taeng what exactly are you wearing for this date?”

Sooyoung (the most fashionable of three of us) asked raising her eyebrows. She was looking at my black dress.

“We are going to have dinner and then see a movie. Well… I’m not sure the actual order for this. But still… I want to look nice.” I pouted quite sure that Sooyoung will find some sort of flaw with my choice.

Sooyoung snorted “You always look nice. But you don’t need to overdo yourself. It is a first date. Not a funeral.”

My face burned bright red “Oh…”

I ran to my closet and grabbed another outfit and laid it out for them to see. It was quite similar dress to this one, but instead of black I chose blue one. This is my favorite color, after all.

“There. Happy now?”

Sunny giggled “Good choice!”

They finally understood that I’m too nervous for pointless conversations and walked out. I heard Sooyoung running down the stairs and shouting at Yoona that she should leave her at least one slice of pizza. Not surprised here: Sooyoung easily forgets about other people problems when there is food involved, while Sunny is probably texting one of her guys. All is left for me to do is get ready and wait…





Tiffany Hwang


I put on skinny jeans and a nice pink top. I was ready to go get Taeyeon, but gosh why I am so nervous?! I haven’t had this problem before… but truth be told, I have never dated a girl either, so maybe that’s the reason… or the reason might be the fact that I haven’t actually dated someone that I really liked… most of the time I was just looking for a good time, but this time I was in too deep.

Anyway… that’s besides the point! Luckily, I heard Sooyoung running down the stairs and screaming at Yoona which brought me back to this moment. I walked out of my room grabbing my wallet and turning off the lights.

I waked down the hallway to my roommates door and knocked twice.

No answer.

“Taetae? You there?”

No answer.


Finally I heard some noises and soon she opened the door hugging me tightly. “YES! I mean… yes… I am. We can go.”

Afterwards, Taeyeon practically dragged me to get a car.

About 30 minutes later we arrived to the restaurant and ate. It was somehow endearing seeing Taeyeon laughing, giggling and blushing most of the time. It was probably the cutest thing I have ever seen. But if you think that Taeyeon couldn’t get any cuter, you’re very wrong. I got to witness it when we finally went for the movie.

“Two adult tickets, please.”

The woman behind the glass smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry but… kids under 14 get kid tickets.”

This is when Taeyeon face palmed her face and sighed tiredly. “I’m 21.”

I couldn’t help but laugh my ass off. I paid for our tickets (since it might have lasted a century until Taeyeon proven her point) and 15 minutes later we finally sat down inside the theater. Taeyeon pouted and complained at first, so I had to convince her that looking young is not something she should worry about.

She held my hand the entire movie. At the end of it, I looked over at her, our faces were inches apart.. I closed the gap (who could control themselves in such proximity?) and kissed her softly. Sadly, the kiss couldn’t last for long since the lights came back, people started standing up and leaving the place, and I had no other choice but to pull away.

We left the cinema and discussed our date smiling like teenagers in love. I was smiling, Taeyeon was blushing.

“Best date ever!” we said at the same time and laughed afterwards.

Taeyeon grabbed my hand and we went to the direction of our apartment.  Score Tiffany Hwang, now all you have to do is hold her tight and treat her right, and both of you will be alright. Damn I should probably stop talking to myself if I want this to work.

Do’s and Don’ts


[Tiffany Hwang list to Kim Taeyeon]


  • Don’t flirt with other girls (or guys.)
  • Don’t stop spoiling me.
  • Don’t hide anything from me.
  • Don’t be afraid to say what you think.
  • Don’t stop paying attention to me = don’t you dare ignoring me.
  • Don’t watch dramas without me. I don’t care how curious you are if the main pairing  will finally got together! It is our special time together!
  • Don’t doubt me, but at the same time don’t stop being jealous – it shows me how much you actually care, and how afraid you are of losing me.
  • Don’t come across as a know it all, or at least don’t show it. You know that is the reason why we argue a lot.
  • Don’t stop dreaming. It makes me happy when I see you smiling.
  • Don’t stop kissing and hugging me, unless I tell you to. Don’t stop even if I do.
  • Don’t get angry at our friends just because they are playfully flirt with me – THEY ARE OUR FRIENDS!
  • Don’t steal my clothes conveniently leaving only the ones that you like yourself. That’s a NO NO.
  • Don’t scare my co-workers and future company partners away.
  • Please don’t ask me to buy you a car for your next birthday!
  • Oh crap! Don’t you dare stop loving me!



  • Call and leave me text messages EVERY SINGLE DAY, no matter how busy you are.
  • Do remember our anniversaries and other important days of our relationship:  our first date, the day when we shared our first kiss, the day when we started dating, our first night together, the day we decided to move in together, the day you proposed to me, our wedding date (and night), our honeymoon and so on.
  • Keep on singing in the shower. I really love hearing you every morning and night.
  • Keep on making us food. I don’t want to poison us if I try!
  • Love me like you do, love love love me like you do! (yes, I’m singing this.)
  • Don’t be a lazy ass! Keep on moving! Join me for a jog! Let’s go for a walk! Please please please!
  • Do stay the same pervert as you always were. I won’t ever admit it, but I secretly love it a lot.
  • Do make demands when you want something from me, voice it out. I want to spoil you too.
  • Do me as you do. (OMG… this is embarrassing.)
  • Stay as romantic and cheesy as you are. That’s another thing that I really love about you.



[Kim Taeyeon List to Tiffany Hwang]


  • Don’t text and drive. I want to keep in touch with you all the time too, but your safely is the most important thing. I rather not talk with you for a while, than hear that something happened to you on your way.
  • Don’t make our problems open for the public. I really don’t want to argue with you in the middle of the street.
  • Don’t ever disappear on me. I don’t care how angry you are. (Remembering the previous point: I would rather have you screaming at me in the middle of the street.)
  • Don’t tease.
  • Don’t force me to go jogging with you. I might as well die while on the run. We can find other methods for exercise.
  • Don’t paint all of our rooms pink. I forbid you!
  • Don’t flirt with our friends or your co-workers. Did you forget how angry and jealous I get when you do? I can be possessive too, you know?
  • Don’t send me nudes when I’m at work. It is too distracting. I can’t concentrate for the rest of the day – wanting to see you as soon as possible.
  • Don’t get angry at me just because I didn’t answer to one of your texts. You know I would never ignore you on purpose. (Unless I’m jealous and you flirted with your co-workers!)
  • Don’t stop loving me. Ever.




  • Do keep on speaking in English. I don’t understand a word you say, but you sound so sexy with that accent of yours.
  • Let’s have sex everyday. 
  • Let me do you, as I do (keke)
  • I have never met someone who loves kissing as much as you do. You made me like it too. Do keep on stealing kisses from me even when I seem unwilling to kiss you back.
  • Let me sleep in on Sundays. It would really make me love you even more.
  • Let me spoil you. You know how much I love paying for your things.
  • Spoil me too. But in bed. 
  • Do remember our anniversaries and other important days of our relationship:  our first date, the day when we shared our first kiss, the day when we started dating, our first night together, the day we decided to move in together, the day you proposed to me, our wedding date (and night), our honeymoon and so on.
  • Smile. Every day. As much as you can. It shows me how happy you are. After all, I did fall in love with your eye smile on the very first time that we met.
  • Keep on giving me those massages at least once a week. You have magic hands.
  • Do not let other people influence your bad mood. If they are annoying you – they are not worth your time.
  • Trust me. I know I suck and can’t express myself most of the time, you do not have superpowers so you can’t read my mind, but please – do keep on trusting me.
  • Do get drunk a bit more often. When I say drunk – I mean to the point where you pretend that you’re not – but you’re really tipsy and adorable!
  • Do join me in the shower whenever I start singing. I do love your company.
  • Do you remember the previous ‘Don’t’ point of not sending me nudes when I’m at work. Well… do send me nudes. YES PLEASE! Just… you know… not at work… maybe?


You and that smile of yours. Eye-smile, the thing that made you this popular in the first place… everyone remembered you by it and by that small mistakes while calling yourself ‘Mushroom’.

Two things that remain the same from the beginning of our careers.

The truth is that the smile of yours was something I got to witness first. Before the fans, before the fame, before your boyfriend and all those scandals when netizens imagined that you’re dating someone.

Honestly, back then I had no idea that you could become a trouble. My biggest distractions and at the same time the most important person in my life. Fans were quick to catch on small details or even my jealousy when you got too clingy with other members. Ironically, our fans always argued, some saying that its just an imagination and that’s how friends act, others pointing out details, the looks and claiming that our relationship is true.

There have been many times when I wanted to confirm it… at any point during the interview, during our tour when everyone got louder and more excited whenever Tiffany and me got to stand closer to each other. I was so immersed in all it and so close to just open up during my short reality show when Fany acted as MC and asked me ‘What life means to you’.

I even started saying that there’s this me and there is another one… Taeyeon that no one knows about but of course… you looked clueless… I just couldn’t do it. As much as I wanted to tell everyone and confirm their doubts: what would I actually win with it? More scandals? Hate?

That’s the thing about K-Pop fans… they imagine/want their pairings to be together in real life, but if that would actually happen… the media and all of them would go crazy. Some would probably say ‘I knew this all along’, others would be fast to judging. In this society…even dating when the girl is older than a guy is somewhat a taboo…

I know about it… I got to witness this first hand. It is not only that boy and girl groups can’t mix, because ‘Stay away from my oppa’, but also it is somehow required that the guy should be older. It does make little sense, right? I mean… then how about couples that have 20 or even 30 years difference? So it is very wrong if a girl is few years older, but if the guy is 20 years older it is completely acceptable?

Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

But even if I’m concentrating on this that doesn’t have much importance…at least not when I’m alone with my thoughts. Whenever that happens, all I can think about is Fany. When we first met… I had no idea… that with her wine-stained lips, yeah, she’s nothing but trouble, cold to the touch but she’s warm as a devil. If I knew… maybe I would have stayed away and wasn’t that eager to be her roommate. Though if we believe in destiny and remember the fact that she’s the most important person in my life… maybe I didn’t have much choice with it. It just happened. What hurt at first was the fact that I gave her my heart but she wanted my soul. She takes ’til I break and I can’t get more.

When people talk about love, they like skipping the bad parts and concentrate only on the happy moments. It is easier this way, since we people tend to avoid getting hurt… but I’m not skipping the worse. Not now… I need to get this out of my system.

I can’t lie and pretend… for a very long time, I was the only one who fell in love. I was the only one looking at Tiffany in a special way and waited for her attention. Yes… she gave me a lot of it, but it was pretty much the same communication and interaction like with all the other members. The only difference is that our fans tend to over-analyze  situations and I… just like them… kept on watching those videos. The ones that made it looked like Fany is the ones who’s jealous… or the ones where it looked like she’s staring at me.

But I knew better. There were few moments when Tiffany looked at me, but most of other times, she looked passed me. Ironically, there was a moment when I thought she stared at me, when instead she kept on giving glances to Nickhun sitting next to me. Stuff like that hurts, doesn’t it?

That is why I tried to break the chains but the chains only break me. I tried to avoid feeling like that. I got pretty depressed at that point, but it didn’t stop me. I tried avoiding Tiffany or started fighting with her for no apparent reason. Our fight in Japan is still a popular topic among the fans though… it didn’t really go exactly like they think it did. The truth was… I couldn’t avoid my feelings anymore and told her about it…or should I say…I shouted the words out loud.

It wasn’t the best kind of confession and it didn’t get a happy ending at that point, because Fany couldn’t tell me that she feels the same way. My confession confused her and we faked ‘being okay’ in front of the fans for awhile, while alone we barely looked at each other. It was too awkward and all the members felt it… the most ironic part was when we kept on telling about our fight in Japan everyone seemed to enjoy it.

We laughed.

She laughed.

I cried inside.

I’m still unsure why but one day all of a sudden Fany told me that she wants to try. She wasn’t sure, but I’m too important person in her life not to give it a try…guess what… we failed the first time… our interactions were quick… meaningless… and it was me who said that we need to stop this… I told her convincingly that I’ll forget about this feeling and move on.

For a while I succeeded… why else would I have dated Baekhyun. Also… it was better this way. Tiffany had a boyfriend and seemed to be happy about it… we barely talked about stuff like dating anymore, but at the same time we were back to normal… best friends… closer than best friend… we were like family to each other.

But there were times… when… I was alone in the night ’til she knocked on my door. Wasted again but I couldn’t say no. I wanted to ask “Baby tell me why, why you do, do me wrong” because I did gave her my heart but she took my soul.

It took years for Tiffany… literally… years… to admit to herself what she’s feeling for me. Even when she did and when she came looking for me at those moments of weakness… Fany always told me that it can’t last… it can only be a temporal things until we find our other half… get married… just like the society expects us to do.

Still, she was the first one who broke up with Nickhun though they  had it all. A lot of times Fany told other members that she can see the rest of her life with Nickhun, that he makes her truly happy…makes her feel loved and there is nothing else she needs… except… she did… she needed me… just like I needed her.

That’s why I can call this ‘Chains’… because we were chained to each other. Our souls and hearts intervene… and just like chain reaction somehow we stayed close to each other, unable to break free.

We tried break the chains but the chains only break us. When we weren’t together, it hurt more than all the uncertainty and fear.

At the end, we decided not to care anymore. No… we won’t make this official. The world (or let’s say – Korea) is not ready for it… but secretly… we belong to each other… our supporters gets enough of clues of that. We buy matching accessories and clothes, we share a lot of videos and photos together, we talked a lot about the other whenever we get interviewed for our solos.

So yeah… when we talk about love, we need to talk about bad stuff too. But guess what… even though Fany got me in chains, she got me in chains for her love. But I wouldn’t change, no, I wouldn’t change this love.

Her eye-smile and nickname ‘Mushroom’ are two things that remain from the beginning of our careers, but there is one more thing that people are not aware of and that is my love for Fany.



A/N:  Inspired by Nick Jones – Chains. I would suggest listening to it while reading the story 🙂

Written in Taeyeon’s point of view. Short one (I guess counts as a drabble). I just kind of come up with this while listening to the song and…yeah… I sat down to write it. (You can see the lyrics in the process of the story, they’re written in italic).

I will be honest, this is very random, written some time ago but I decided to repost it here too.